


Redefinition

by Andromakhe



Series: Redemption [8]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Absolution, F/M, Family, Forgiveness, Gen, Master-Apprentice bond, Reconciliation, Redemption, Romance, Second Chances, Second impressions, parent-child bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5259062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromakhe/pseuds/Andromakhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhat AU. A little after the fall of the Empire, Luke finds he needs a change of company. He returns to Tatooine and gets some history lessons. In the process, his Force-sensitive companions learn about each other. My fic "Redemption" is recommended reading, but this was not written as a sequel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Farewells

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Kentress fic, but the ship is not a dominant part of it. Instead, it centers on Obi-Wan and those closest to him. It was inspired by my other Kentress work and "Redemption," but none of the fics really need to be read to follow this. "Divergence" and "Echoes and Reflections" are also handy reference fics. For dramatic purposes, assume Ventress’ sabers are green. And note this fic includes mentions of things that are only my personal fanon, so not totally canon compliant.

It was a couple weeks after the fall of the Empire, and Luke needed to get away. Leia was used to dealing with media interviews and lip service and the complicated business of leading and commanding others. People wanted to know about how he survived the tyrants of the Empire, how they died, and even how he managed to obtain a lightsaber, thinking such things were only legend. When he tried to explain about how he was trained a Jedi, that the Force was a real thing, that he lived now because one Sith turned out to have a conscience buried deep, people found the story incredible. Most people had the tact not to accuse Luke of lying, but he knew through the Force that most everyone found his words absurd. Few, such as politicians who had known Jedi like Kenobi, Windu, and Yoda, believed him, but then, they remembered Anakin before he fell. As a Jedi, he’d learned to have better control over his frustration, but a Jedi is human, and he just couldn’t take much more. 

On top of this, he felt lonely. Leia was Force-sensitive, but untrained, so she could not understand his longing for others of his kind. Yes, he privately made the distinction between sensitives and blinds and further, trained and untrained. Surprisingly, he found himself longing for Tatooine, probably because he missed Obi-Wan and needed his company and most of his memories of him were there. Luke sighed sadly and lay a hand on his X-Wing, thinking how ironic it was that he’d actually want to return to the place he said he’d never willingly set foot on again. Sure, Tatooine inhabitants weren’t always good. Many were dangerous or even deadly. But at least, they were honest. The people he’d had to tolerate of late were false and shallow.

Luke went in search of Han and found him with his trusty Falcon, washing it. Chewie was with him, saying something about wanting to go home. Luke laughed to himself, a tad surprised. But of course, now that he thought of it, Chewbacca might miss his own kind as well. "I’d like to go home, too," he said quietly, standing on Han’s other side.

Han and Chewbacca turned toward him. Han looked surprised, but Chewie had already known Luke was close by because of his scent. Chewie growled sympathetically and Han looked annoyed that his other brother was ditching him as well. "So you two are going to leave me alone with the stuffy government types?"

"Are you including Leia in that assessment?" Luke laughed.

"Um…Sort of," Han muttered. "I mean, don’t tell her I said that. She’s fine when she’s not with them, but her…associates make me nervous. Call it force of habit, being a criminal and all."

"We won’t be gone forever, and if you can get Leia away from the politicians, think of the quality time you two could have."

That made Han smirk. "Kid, I didn’t know you could be so devious."

Luke managed to smile innocently for all that, though his eyes danced with mirth. "Those formal types don’t bother me so much. It’s the general populace that I need to get away from. They’re just so…insincere. I’m sorry to leave you alone. But there’s Lando and Leia, and there’s always hologram communication while I’m gone. I can’t say how long I’ll need, but Force willing, I intend to return."

Chewbacca took this opportunity to hug both Han and Luke tightly, and the men hugged Chewie as best they could. He growled at Luke to have a safe journey and that he’d bring Han’s regards to his family on Kashyyyk.

"May the Force be with you," Han smiled at Luke and slapped his shoulder.

Luke bowed to Han and returned the smile warmly. "May the Force be with you," he intoned solemnly. "Would you tell Leia I’ve gone to Tatooine? I think she’s too busy to get a hold of just now."

"Will do," Han affirmed, waving goodbye.

"Force be with you, Chewie," Luke smiled, patting Chewbacca on the arm.

Chewbacca growled the appropriate response and Luke got into his X-Wing, feeling lighter immediately as he took off in search of peace.


	2. The Jedi and The Hunter

Meanwhile, on Tatooine, Asajj Ventress sat in a cool and quiet cave in contemplation and meditation. She could hardly believe it when the Empire fell, but the Force’s echoing joy made it impossible to doubt. Long past the age for exuberant emotion, she still felt relief, serenity, contentment, and a twinge of regret that Obi-Wan couldn’t be with her physically to share the first taste of freedom. When he’d finally shown up, she noted his immense pride, satisfaction, and happiness. She smiled now as she’d smiled then, unable to begrudge him the savoring of victory. He’d fought in the Clone Wars and the Alliance, and he deserved this triumph. Certainly, she was glad their side had won. 

He’d apologized for his tardiness. It seemed she couldn't hide anything from him anymore. But he explained that a young Knight by the name of Luke Skywalker redeemed an old Padawan and their galaxy, and that the son had held firm where the father had failed him. Luke was the apprentice who validated him as a Master. Asajj had responded that it was about time he got the respect Anakin had owed him. There was no more talk that night and Ventress had drifted to sleep, but over the next days, Obi-Wan told her of Anakin’s twins, his guarding Luke, and how he’d been Luke’s confidant and subtly trained him in Jedi ways, or at least Jedi worldview. Asajj had remarked then that Luke probably couldn’t help absorbing it, since it affected her, too. Obi-Wan had chuckled affectionately and went on to tell of the events from the Death Star to Palpatine’s demise. He told of Han and Leia being a couple and Chewbacca’s presence, but mostly, he spoke of Luke.

So it was with interest and curiosity that Ventress noted the bright signature like and unlike Anakin that was now in the vicinity of Obi-Wan’s old home. She left the cave and moved toward it at a leisurely pace. She wore her lightsabers openly and had her usual hunter garb. Her Force signature she cloaked, but without the Sith influence darkening the Force, Luke should have no trouble discerning her threat to him.

Luke entered the old hut and sat on the meditation mat in the middle of the floor. He didn’t meditate, though. Just remembered old times in and around the place. He associated Obi-Wan with calmness, quiet strength, deep sorrow, and firm conviction. Luke could not have known how much his life and experience of the galaxy would expand and change when he embarked on his Jedi training. He found that even though he’d lost his hand, he still had so much to be thankful for. He’d lost his aunt and uncle, but he knew he’d meet them again one day because Obi-Wan proved there was no death, there was the Force. He had great friends who became his new family. The Empire was gone. And the Force…He smiled. He loved being able to have full advantage of his abilities. Because of Yoda’s reminders on ethical Force use and his brush with the Dark Side during his Trial of facing his father, he’d never use it irresponsibly or think himself better than those who could not feel it. Speaking of which, what was that darkness approaching? 

He got up and stepped outside quickly, lightsaber in hand, reasoning that if he had to run, he’d be better off out in the open. It was afternoon now and his ship wasn’t far. It was still a couple hours to sunset. He was torn between heading over there or moving toward the darkness. There was fear rising in him, but at the same time, he’d just got here and didn’t want to have to leave so soon. But if there were more Sith in the galaxy…No. That couldn’t be right. The Force had changed after the Empire fell. Even after the initial celebrations, it was still bright, except for the presence still moving toward him. If he didn’t choose soon, he’d have no choice. A Jedi always tried to survive. There were none he needed to defend and his way was clear. He started toward his ship. Perhaps he could regroup there, calm himself, and try to investigate whoever he was feeling or ask Obi-Wan about it. He was not running but he was jogging quickly.

His ship was in sight when he heard it - the familiar hum of a lightsaber a short distance behind him. He spun, activating his own saber, and stared into the keen blue eyes of a tall woman of a species he wasn’t familiar with. He had no time to take in more detail as her lightsabers slashed toward his midsection. With reflexes enhanced by the Force, he dodged and blocked her weapons with his own saber. He realized his assailant had green blades. Jumping over her, he tried to kick her to the ground, but she wasn’t falling for such a trick. She nearly took off his foot. Aiming for his unprotected flank, she lunged at him, only to be blocked yet again. He registered he was sensing no malice from this warrior, no hatred, just the thrill of a fight. He traded saber strikes with her and succeeded in making her drop one of her sabers, but she called it back to her and the fight resumed. Luke noted they were heading back toward Obi-Wan’s place. Asajj kicked him in the shoulder and disarmed him. He tried to summon his saber but her oncoming blades forced him to divert energy to arresting their motion. He hit the ground and brought his saber up just in time to stop a strike aimed at his chest. He slashed at Ventress’ leg, but she leapt over his blade and kicked him in the ribs. Luke jumped up and flung out his hand, using Asajj’s momentum to knock her to the ground. He slashed at Asajj’s neck, but her sabers were quick, and once again, he found himself without a weapon. He summoned it as Asajj jumped to her feet. They were now quite close to Obi-Wan’s home. Luke somersaulted over her and landed behind her, grabbing one of her wrists and twisting painfully, forcing one of her sabers from her grasp. He picked it up and deactivated it, then threw it toward Asajj’s active weapon. Before Asajj could react, the saber was destroyed.

Luke felt shock, grief, and then anger emanating from Asajj’s signature, which now flared bright and hot. Asajj stabbed at his chest viciously. Luke blocked and jumped back, knowing she now meant business. She lashed out and kicked him in the stomach, winding him. Shoving him onto his back, she straddled his chest and pinned his arms, her remaining saber hovering near his throat and her glare boring into him. "I have killed for lesser offenses, Jedi," she half-hissed, half-growled deep in her throat, showing her teeth. The saber, however, was not close enough to his throat to even accidentally kill him.

Luke eyed her blade, so much like his own, which he deactivated but still clutched in his fingers. He was calm and unafraid. If it was the will of the Force he die now, after redeeming the galaxy, so be it. At least, it didn’t appear she was going to torture him as the Emperor had. He shifted his gaze to meet Asajj’s eyes. "I believe you, ma’am. I…I’m sorry I was forced to destroy your weapon. It clearly meant a lot to you. If that is an offense deemed worthy of death, I accept your judgment."

Luke felt wrath flare anew in her and she gripped one of his arms so tightly that it caused pain and bruised. "I had these lightsabers since before you were born. I fought with them in the Clone Wars. I even loaned one to Kenobi once when he found himself without any defense." At the mention of the incident with Obi-Wan, Luke heard a sad compassion in her tone. "And where Kenobi was, Skywalker usually wasn’t far behind." The name Skywalker dripped contempt.

Luke couldn’t help it. She’d said too much of interest. "You knew Anakin and Obi-Wan? And you fought in the Clone Wars? Why didn’t you like Anakin if you were on the Jedi side?"

Asajj’s eyebrows shot up and then she cackled. "Me, a Jedi? Don’t make me laugh. Do I look like a Jedi to you? As for Skywalker, don’t get me started. He was arrogant, cruel, spoiled, and selfish. You think he was bad as Vader? Trust me, it wasn’t a sudden change. Skywalker was just biding his time, in cahoots with the Emperor to decimate the Jedi after the Clone Wars ended. He massacred your kind and betrayed everyone who was foolish enough to love him, to trust him. You’re fortunate Kenobi never told me about you. I was an assassin in the Wars. I’d have found you and killed you and saved the galaxy the trouble of another Anakin. I’d kill you right now, but Kenobi would never forgive me. And that’s saying something for him." She released Luke and edged toward Obi-Wan’s door, deactivating her saber and watching him. Yes, Obi-Wan vouched for him, but he was still a Skywalker. "Get up, Jedi. I sense the things I’ve said have unsettled you. Let’s talk inside." 

Luke was absolutely floored, both by the intensity of this warrior’s hatred toward his father and the equally intense love she bore Obi-Wan. Anakin had massacred Jedi? Anakin, and not Vader? Obi-Wan had been careful to mention only good things about Anakin, but this woman had known Anakin as well and from what she said, he should hate him even more than Vader. No. Jedi don’t hate. But isn’t it just to hate someone who had betrayed Obi-Wan? Because Luke knew Obi-Wan had loved Anakin. He sat up, shaking his head in confusion, and got to his feet. He attached his lightsaber to his belt and Asajj did the same. Luke flanked Ventress as they walked in silence inside the hut and sat on the floor across from each other, legs crossed.


	3. Travails and Tribulations

It was Luke who broke the silence. "I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. May I ask your name? I’m Luke Skywalker." He extended his mechanical hand.

Asajj gave a half-smile. "Did Kenobi train you to have such pretty manners? I don’t know if you’re aware of it but you…feel a lot like him." She shook his hand. "I’m Asajj Ventress, Dathomirian and former Sith assassin." 

"Sith? But you don’t feel like a Sith. I know what a Sith feels like in the Force."

"Former Sith," Asajj corrected.

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Luke nodded. "I realize you don’t like my father but I have to know. What do you mean, he massacred Jedi?"

Asajj sneered contemptuously. "What, you need the definition of 'massacre' explained? You didn’t understand when I said 'decimated' your people? Did you ever wonder why Kenobi and Master Yoda were the only Jedi you knew? It was once a thriving Order. Have you seen the Temple ruins on Coruscant?"

"Father did that?" Luke whispered, anguished.

Brutally, Asajj drove the point home. "Cut down the people who raised and trusted him with no mercy or remorse. Kenobi told me no one was spared. Not the old, not the young, not the infirm. No one."

"How could he?" Luke whimpered in disbelief.

Implacably. "I can’t answer that."

"Why did he?" Luke tried.

With rising, but controlled, frustration. "Again, I don’t know. But rage like that is often extremely personal. I’m betting he bore a massive grudge against the Jedi as a whole or specific individuals and hated everyone enough to not care who was in his way to get to his targets. Or he could have just enjoyed the blood and terror. That’s not entirely out of the question, either. I was Sith; I should know."

"Wait. He enjoyed the fact people were afraid of him?"

"Every Sith does."

"But why?"

Asajj sighed, shaking her head almost pityingly. "Because…Do you know the power of holding another’s life in your hand? Have you felt downtrodden before? Have you ever thought that no one cared if you lived or died?"

"I’m afraid not, ma’am," Luke murmured, feeling sad. "I always had friends, as a child and as an adult. I know what it is to hold lives in my hands, but not to kill, but to try to protect. And I always knew at least one person loved me."

"How can you love yourself when no one has shown you that you are worthy? How can you value life when you yourself are going nowhere and have no way of changing your circumstances? Why would you want to preserve a galaxy full of beings who never cared for you? Why would complete strangers matter when people use each other for their own gain anyway? And so, the Sith way is to play on people’s desires, on their attachments to others, on their hatred of self or situation. You can get revenge, they say. And you can. But it’s only a temporary happiness. After the vengeance comes remorse and shame, unless you have no conscience whatsoever, but few are that evil. So don’t think you are better than me. You were merely more fortunate, and that because of adults who made choices for you."

Luke bowed his head. "No, ma’am. I’m only sorry you had such a hard life. I’m grateful for the sacrifices my family and Obi-Wan made for me. But what changed your mind? You’re clearly not a Sith now. Why did you leave them, and why did my father join them?"

"I didn’t actually leave by choice. I was betrayed by my Master. He wounded me callously and left me to die. Only I didn’t. I got into a brief fight with Skywalker and Kenobi and escaped that battle and commandeered a ship to Dathomir, Force choking the former occupants to death. I was healed on planet. I don’t know why Skywalker joined the Sith. But I can tell you that those who find the Sith appealing usually want power and an excuse to kill and destroy with abandon. I’m certain the Jedi enforce restrictions and morality, things a Sith doesn’t have to bother with. In fact, the crueler, the better."

"Yeah. Being electrocuted with lightning is the definition of cruel," Luke muttered, shuddering in memory.

"I sympathize," Asajj murmured.

"You’ve felt it?" Luke asked, horrified.

"Didn’t you hear me? It is the Sith way to inflict pain. They don’t care if you are one of their own. The way they see it, it makes you stronger. More angry, more hateful."

Luke just looked crestfallen. "How could my father join such an organization? How could that kind of thing appeal to him? Obi-Wan said he was a Jedi. If he had been, he’d never have worked for our enemies."

"Kenobi," Asajj growled. "Answer him. I don’t know the convoluted intricacies of Skywalker’s motivations. I know some of his history, but you know I never liked to talk much about him."

Two Force ghosts appeared beside them, Obi-Wan by Asajj and Anakin next to Luke, and sat down in the same poses. "Master, I don’t want to talk to Luke in front of her," Anakin complained.

"Padawan, I’m not kicking Asajj out of this house," Obi-Wan retorted in exasperation. "It’s practically hers, anyway. I have no need of a home now."

"We’re not going to get along," Anakin grumbled.

Obi-Wan ignored that comment.

Luke looked at Obi-Wan, who was now an old version of General Kenobi. Anakin was still the young Knight he remembered. It was strange to see a man who looked as young as him but was his father.

"Some things never change, eh?" mocked Ventress, grimacing and looking at Anakin. "Skywalker."

"At least, the feeling’s mutual, Ventress," spat Anakin.

Obi-Wan sighed wearily. Luke reached out to try to pat his forearm but then remembered and withdrew his hand, shaking his head in sympathy. Obi-Wan chuckled and offered a grateful smile. "Reminds me of you and Han," Luke laughed. And then, somewhat embarrassed, "What’s a Padawan?" 

"An apprentice," the three chorused simultaneously. Asajj and Anakin glared at each other.

"Ah. If only I’d been trained in the traditional ways," Luke lamented. "But I guess times were different after the Clone Wars. Obi-Wan said so."

Anakin stiffened and looked away from the group. Asajj snorted scathingly. It was his own fault, after all.

Obi-Wan spoke up. "Perhaps it was better you weren’t trained traditionally. Such ways hadn’t worked out well at all for Anakin, and you were raised a civilian, so you may have misunderstood them as he had. At any rate, there was no choice. Traditional ways mean traditional tasks, like diplomacy, humanitarian work, and guarding Senators. I could not show my affiliation so plainly, and your uncle would never have allowed your training even if I could." Obi-Wan’s tone was subdued.

"Father, how could you do that to him? To me? Killing the Jedi and forcing your friends and family to endure the Empire? Didn’t our future matter to you? You even broke the Code by getting married and having children and obliterated Leia’s homeworld. I can’t even list everything you’ve done, directly or indirectly."

"Son, I never intended for things to get so bad, to get so out of control. All my life, I’ve been under someone’s thumb, wanted only for my Force abilities or skills. The only person I thought loved me for me was my mother, but then she was tortured to death by Sand People. I touched the Dark Side for the first time then, slaughtering the entire camp I found her in, including women and younglings. And you know what? It felt good. After that, murder got easier and easier to do until, by the time I entered the Emperor’s service, it ceased to phase me and I felt like I was getting revenge for the way I was treated by the galaxy every time people died."

Luke and Obi-Wan stared at each other with identical looks of horror. Asajj showed nothing on her face, but in the Force, she projected empathy and mild discomfort that she actually understood Anakin’s rage and revelry in the Dark Side.

Anakin continued. "I loved your mother, Padme, beyond reason, beyond words, at first sight. I grew to love Obi-Wan over time. It was his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, that my heart had bonded to, though. But Qui-Gon was slain by another of the Emperor’s apprentices, and I think that’s when everything was doomed. I’d left my mother and my home in Mos Espa to become a Jedi, but I never thought Qui-Gon could be killed. He was invincible to me. The Jedi were superhuman, able to make whatever they wanted happen. I was too young to know that everything dies and that some rules just cannot be changed. 

"Over the years, as Padawan to Obi-Wan, it seemed like all the Jedi wanted me for was to destroy the Sith. They didn’t care about my happiness and sought to control me. Certainly, I resented having to obey Obi-Wan. I was taken from my mother only to be enslaved by an organization that claimed they didn’t enslave people, yet I had a Master. Still, despite the hated Jedi Council, the dull diplomacy, and all the rules, I didn’t want to lose Obi-Wan. I could have left the Jedi and married Padme, but then, I’d never see Master. So I tried to keep both and couldn’t be a good Knight or husband.

"And then the Clone Wars began, and all the fighting and destruction darkened the Force and made everyone evil. Even good people like Master were not immune. I’m convinced the War is where he learned to lie. And I don’t mean only telling part of the truth. That’s been his way since I’ve known him. No. I’m talking true lies. He once faked his own death and broke my heart, and all for a mission, a mission that turned out to be totally unnecessary because it was in service to the Emperor. Well, no one knew he was the Emperor at the time. He was Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Old Republic and the Army. Everyone thought he was a normal, ambitious politician. Because the Force was clouded, the Jedi couldn’t see the Chancellor’s true face, the Sith Master. Eventually, I forgave Obi-Wan for the ruse. But it was never forgotten, and it was easier to hate him later because of it.

"And behind all of this mounting hatred was the Emperor. I was close to him. He was like my dad. I guess, he was what Qui-Gon should have been and Obi-Wan was too young to be. It’s not Master’s fault. It really isn’t." Here, Anakin sounded truly sympathetic and even touched Obi-Wan’s shoulder. "Master had a hard time, too. He hadn’t trained a Padawan before, I never obeyed him, the pain of losing his Master plus the stresses of the War - everything combined to make him just as snappish and irritable as I could be. But you know how I said Master has always been one to pick and choose what information he gives? Well, he and I were never totally honest with each other. I think when Qui-Gon died, he resented me as I resented him, as someone he never wanted to train and someone I never wanted as a Master. Friend? Sure. Brother? Certainly. But not a Master. 

"So Palpatine became my confidant, someone to complain about Obi-Wan to. Obi-Wan, the Council, the Jedi, and whatever annoyed me at the time. Palpatine was a good actor, pretending to be sympathetic, on my side, encouraging my pride and turning me against Master. The bitter irony in all this is that I was totally honest with Palpatine. I kept nothing hidden. Palpatine, of course, also picked and chose what information he gave. It was only after I’d destroyed everyone I ever loved because of his skewed guidance and my own irrational fear that I realized what Master had always said from the beginning - the Dark Side destroys, and even stars die.

"I figured it was too late for me after that. But being a Sith, I also feared death. I could not be a Jedi but did not have the courage to leave the plane of the living. So I lived on the Dark Side and used my own self-loathing to fuel it. Vader hated Master, but I loved him. Vader and I both didn’t like me.

"You asked if your future and that of Obi-Wan mattered to me. When you and Leia were conceived, the Old Republic was still standing and I had no idea I would kill so many and help to build an Empire. I just wanted to be in control for once. And then I had Force visions of Padme dying in childbirth and, desperate not to lose her as I lost my mother, I gave the Emperor the power to finally break me. Obi-Wan always said my greatest flaw, apart from my arrogance, was my focus on the negative. Master was always right." He met Obi-Wan’s eyes and touched his hand, smiling sadly.

Obi-Wan sighed and Luke felt something very close to despair coming from him. Luke wished he could hug both him and his father, comfort them or make them smile. But so much had gone so wrong, and all things considered, Luke hadn’t had that bad of a life. "Qui-Gon and Palpatine stand out to me. But Obi-Wan was both of them for me. After all, Obi-Wan was slain by a Sith and I complained to him about everything. Like you, I held nothing back from him."

Anakin blinked in surprise, but then nodded slowly. "I hadn’t known who you were then. I did feel your rage in the Force, but mostly, I was annoyed that Obi-Wan had disappeared. No body to gloat over, you know? And the sickening realization that once again, Obi-Wan had spoken true and I disobeyed his warning."

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Business as usual," he muttered. "But then, I was counting on you not listening." He smiled wryly.

"What was the warning? And when else didn’t you listen? I actually hadn’t listened to him, either, which was what cost me my hand. He’d said it was my abilities the Emperor wanted, but I couldn’t desert my friends. Irrational fear."

"Master said that if I killed him, he’d become more powerful than I could imagine. As a Sith, that made absolutely no sense. If you lose life, you lose power. But well…" He gestured at himself and Obi-Wan. "I can assure you, I have more power now than I ever did when alive. We can walk through walls, hear the tiniest sound, look at every minute detail of every rock and every life. And we can talk to you and any other Force-sensitive we choose, though that is a skill that takes a special kind of training. 

"I lost my limbs and nearly my life because I didn’t listen to him. I suppose from a certain perspective, I died." He nodded to Obi-Wan.

"Anakin was very contrary. Whatever I said we should do, he thought he knew better. Seemed like he took the opposing view just for the sake of argument at times. 

"Going back to Qui-Gon, another similarity between us was that we set you Skywalkers on the Jedi path. As Master spoke to Anakin about the Force, I spoke to you, and though we were both barred from formally training you, we did what we could verbally and by action. At the risk of alienating you or Anakin, however, I’d like to say this. It’s my opinion Anakin became a Jedi for all the wrong reasons, and that he was too controlling to truly be successful. With you, Luke, I was careful to explain the tenets of the Jedi - that we serve, that we do our best to maintain moral high ground, that we accept death, knowing that one day, we’ll meet again. I taught you that love and compassion are good things and that possession and attachment are not. You absorbed all these things, and combined with your aunt’s tenderness and your uncle’s discipline, you’ve grown to be a fine man and a fine Knight. You love your friends, but do not expect anything beyond what is reasonable. 

"Anakin was too inflexible to be molded. As a boy, he did follow orders, but even then, there was a possessiveness to him. He knew Qui-Gon for all of five days, and he mourned him as though he’d known him for over a decade. But maybe losing his mother and his hero so close together in time was just too much. I confess that I was jealous of Anakin. I didn’t like him on sight. The fact Qui-Gon was kind to him and critical of me didn’t help matters. And then his training fell to me, so yes, I was resentful. Like you, Luke, I was an apprentice forced to watch as Maul, one of Sidious’ former apprentices, ran Qui-Gon through with his saber. I shouted in grief and rage and bisected Maul savagely. It was the closest I ever came to the Dark Side. Only Anakin’s fall hurt more. And I held Master in my arms as he begged me to train the one who would bring balance to the Force. Because the Force actually began darkening from that point. But Master didn’t know Palpatine would ruin everything. All he knew was that I was capable of the job and that for his sake, I’d do my best. It’s as Anakin said. It was a disaster from the start. Master Yoda should have trained Anakin. Yoda knew I was doing it for the wrong reasons, but because I made a promise to my Master, he could not really encourage me to break my word."

"Your Master what?" Asajj burst out. She drew her remaining saber and turned it on, getting up and swinging it, eyes narrowed in fury. "I’m actually angry at Maul for killing him. I want the pleasure. How dare he?"

Anakin and Asajj actually agreed for once. "Blackmail," Anakin whispered. "No wonder you hated me."

"I hate to say it," said Luke, "but I kind of agree with Asajj. How could he be so heartless? Mortally wounded, you cradling him like you love him, and he can’t even tell you that you meant something to him? He had to have seen or sensed how you felt about Father. I don’t think any of us here can blame you for that. Not even Father. Instead, he takes the opportunity to manipulate you into doing what he wants because you can’t say no? How can you care for someone like that?"

Asajj turned off her saber and began pacing around the room.

"But what about me, Luke?" Obi-Wan inquired. "You weren’t happy that I deceived you about Anakin. I used you, too, to do what I could not, to destroy him. You could have died, but your love for me has not diminished."

"That’s different," Luke retorted. "You had good reasons for keeping secrets. The Empire made it necessary. And you weren’t using me to destroy Anakin, but Vader. Yes, I could have died, but I do not fear that. I was willing to die rather than be corrupted to the Dark Side. Obi-Wan, you preferred to die rather than to kill Father. I learned what a Jedi is from you. I would not dishonor you or fail Father if I could help it. You believed in me when even Master Yoda, wisest of the Jedi, did not wish to train me. Whether you like it or not, you have my love and loyalty forever."

"If we were all judged solely on our mistakes, none of us would be worthy of love," Obi-Wan said sternly. "But my life revolved around three Jedi - you, Anakin, and Master. I learned what a Jedi is from Master, who fell in combat for my sake. He had secondary reasons for fighting Maul to the death, such as keeping him from going after your mother, but she was far from us at the time and had a retinue of security with her. It was me who was in the most immediate danger. Maul separated us during the battle and I fell behind, and Qui-Gon took what he knew was a life-threatening risk to keep it that way.

"Luke, I fell defending a Padawan. You were the future of the Jedi and the galaxy. You had to survive at every cost. Such is the promise every Master makes, to protect a Padawan at the cost of his life if need be. I had secondary reasons, of course, like the Death Star plans and your friends, but you were priority. Even so, young one, do not think we Masters chose as we did solely for duty. I would have made the same choice even if you’d already been a Knight. You had so much life ahead, so much potential to fulfill, so much to do. My Jedi self and I as a person were in agreement, and I am certain my own Master felt exactly the same about me. Do you understand?" Obi-Wan’s eyes bore into Luke’s, steadily, unblinkingly, almost unnervingly.

Luke could only nod in speechless awe, his heart too full of gratitude and amazement at the depth of the love Obi-Wan felt for him. Yes, Obi-Wan had been like a father to him. Uncle Owen had provided for him, given him his physical needs for survival, but it was Obi-Wan who’d taught him how to see the world, how to manage emotion, what to value.

Obi-Wan addressed the entire group. "The three of you hear about one error made by a man none of you know and all of you wish to condemn and kill him. But I have spent significant time with all of you and have hurt all of you and yet you all are angry on my behalf. Because for one mistake, there were nine other times we got it right. For the record, Master told me I was wiser than him, that I’d been a good apprentice, and that I’d be a great Jedi before the ill-fated meeting with Maul. We’d gotten into a fight concerning whether Anakin should be trained. I and the Council sensed anger in him, and Master Yoda cited his age. Anakin was nine and Jedi prefer to raise younglings from infancy traditionally. Qui-Gon believed in Anakin and he believed I could teach Anakin what was good and honorable. I told him what I thought, he said Anakin’s future was not set in stone, and that should have been the end of it. But I said Anakin was dangerous, Master got angry, and since I already didn’t like Anakin, I got angry as well and we didn’t talk to each other until I apologized for forgetting my place. A Padawan can disagree, but should not keep pushing the point once the concern has been acknowledged. It was then he’d praised me and we reconciled.

"All of us have had similar disagreements. But it’s not the totality of our interactions by any means. I have good memories of all of you. I have good memories of him. That is how I can love someone so 'heartless.'"

Luke lowered his head in shame. Asajj stopped pacing and resumed her place beside Obi-Wan, looking sideways at him. Anakin fidgeted and looked away toward one wall. But then, he moved to Obi-Wan’s other side and threw an arm around his shoulders, grinning over at him. "Master, we were both so sad in the beginning of my apprenticeship. We had so much in common but couldn’t see it for our grief. But my first good memory of us was when you introduced me to chocolate. There’s no such thing on Tatooine. Luke, have you tried it? If not, you really should. It was a pastry from Dex’s. Obi-Wan had laughed at my exuberance, and from that moment, we began to build a friendship."

Obi-Wan smiled warmly. "There were also countless companionable silences where we worked on fighters." He patted Anakin’s shoulder. "And all the times I thought you would kill us with what you call piloting."

Anakin laughed outright. "That was part of the fun."

Obi-Wan sighed in affectionate exasperation, but still had a small smile.

Luke spoke up. "Dex’s? And no, I actually haven’t tried it. Sounds expensive if it comes from Coruscant. I bet Jabba had some at one time. I’ll ask Leia if she can get me a sample." 

"Dex was a Besalisk and a friend to the Jedi," Obi-Wan explained. "He ran a restaurant. The pastries weren’t all that expensive, but yes, I thought Anakin would like to try something different and I thought food is always a good ice breaker." He smiled fondly.

Luke grinned. "Oh, that sounds amazing. 

"I knew Obi-Wan as Ben. As the only other Force-sensitive that I knew as I was growing up, I felt a special bond with him. If he hadn’t been with me, I’d have been very lonely and would have had no idea there were others who had our gift. I didn’t know that our abilities came from the Force at the time, but I could sense from his signature that he had them, too. You know how it is. The fact the Force was calm and steady around him indicated his training, and I noticed the control without fully comprehending the meaning until I became a youth and could reason out the difference.

"Uncle Owen hated the Force and resented the Jedi for the Clone Wars. The Wars, as you probably know, caused civilians a lot of problems with getting even basic needs met, like food. Since Aunt and Uncle were moisture farmers, it was likely even worse for them. Obi-Wan reminded me, though, that despite Uncle’s dislike of his affiliation, he still took me in and couldn’t allow a baby to suffer for something that wasn’t his fault. Uncle expected obedience from me and worked hard to support me and my aunt. Because of this, I learned that nothing is free and everything must be earned. Uncle told me Father was a navigator on a freighter and Obi-Wan had died. Obi-Wan said Uncle didn’t want me to follow him on some idealistic crusade. What, like the Rebel Alliance?" He laughed at Obi-Wan, who chuckled quietly. "You can gloat that you were right." Obi-Wan shook his head, frowning in disapproval. Luke looked away sheepishly. Asajj pursed her lips and whispered, "Ow," but too softly for Luke to hear.

Luke addressed the group again. "Aunt Beru went the other extreme. She was affectionate and indulgent. She knew my favorite treats, my favorite meals. When my inability to control the Force resulted in mishap, like breaking things or otherwise making a mess, she’d clean up without complaint. She was often sad at those times because she couldn’t override Uncle’s refusal to allow me Jedi training but knew in her heart it was wrong for me to be denied it. She loved us all - me, Uncle, and Obi-Wan. She knew Obi-Wan was good for me, but was in a bind. She knew the Force made me different, set me apart. She didn’t like or dislike it. It was just a part of me. But neither of them understood the Force and what it’s like to live with it, so they couldn’t always help me.

"And then, there was Obi-Wan, who was kind, also expected respect and obedience, but tempered that strictness by connecting emotionally. We used to work on vaporators. He taught me to meditate, to shield my mind from the din caused by Force-blinds, and he was always there to put up with my complaints about Uncle Owen, and chores, and not being allowed to have any fun. He helped me to work through a lot of frustration and always tried to get me to forgive Uncle, saying Uncle loved me and maybe he was critical and overbearing but he wanted to keep me away from the Empire. And he had holodiscs of Old Republic songs, some of which he said he’d known from his teenage years. I liked them."

"Critical and overbearing," Anakin muttered. "Sounds like Master."

"Hey," Luke snapped, "how many times did Obi-Wan try to warn you about the Dark Side? The Empire was the face of the Dark Side. It’s the same thing Owen was trying to do, just in a civilian way."

Obi-Wan nodded. "That’s why your uncle and I tolerated each other. We both wanted to protect you." 

Anakin and Asajj looked thoughtful at that statement. Luke noted how Asajj turned toward Obi-Wan and reached for his hand, how her eyes met his and her expression gentled. Anakin had moved a little in front of Obi-Wan, turned toward Luke, eyes fierce with a brother’s protectiveness. Luke knew that feeling; it was the same one he’d had when Leia was threatened. Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin’s forearm and reached toward Asajj’s outstretched fingers, his own eyes tender. 

Asajj spoke quietly. "I first met Kenobi in combat. I flirted with him. He played along. He couldn’t resist me. Could you, my dear?" The endearment was spoken seductively as she winked at Obi-Wan.

"I was lost from the start, darling," Obi-Wan smirked, his tone sultry.

Anakin grimaced in disgust. "They’ve always done that, even in front of me. Like the time she purposely removed her cloak just to distract Obi-Wan. It worked." He shook his head in disbelief.

Luke laughed. "Ma’am, I could tell when we fought that you loved Obi-Wan. For his sake, you couldn’t kill me." He looked over at Anakin, beside him again. "Father, that’s what love is. I understand you felt used and abused by the Jedi, but I can’t understand how you could have destroyed them if you loved Obi-Wan. And even if the Dark Side had saved Mother, would she have thanked you? I hated Vader. You don’t need me to tell you how Leia feels. Obi-Wan had no love for him. How did all of our pain not matter?"

"I…" Anakin began, but then hid his face behind his hands. "There’s no excuse."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Then Asajj changed the subject. "Since we’re giving life stories, I suppose I owe the Skywalkers mine.

"I was born to the Nightsisters, a Force-sensitive group native to Dathomir. But they were attacked by pirates and I was given away to save the group from certain death. I was sold into slavery and served a master on Rattatak. But then, a Jedi crashed on the planet and freed me. I became his Padawan as a child, but then he was shot from behind and killed when I was a teenager. His name was Ky Narec and he was one who believed that I could be more than I was. I had hope for a future with him and I loved him like a father. So you can imagine my rage when I saw him murdered. He’d been trying to protect me. Ky’s careful warnings about the Dark Side were abandoned as I gave in completely and killed everything that moved, starting with his murderer.

"After that, my life was steeped in blood and seduction. I needed to fend for myself and did what I had to. Sold my body and my services as an assassin. One day, about seven years after Ky’s death, Dooku, another of the Emperor’s apprentices, held a competition for an assassin he would train in the ways of the Sith. We were tested in stealth, speed, cunning, and general combat prowess. I should explain here that I hated the Jedi because they were a reminder of what I’d lost and on top of that, they were arrogant hypocrites who said they upheld good things but didn’t really prove it with their actions. I thought they were in the Senate’s pocket and would do anything for credits. Needless to say, Dooku chose me and my brutal training began.

"It went on like that for about the same amount of time Ky trained me, and then the Wars began. As Dooku’s assassin, I was an automatic enemy of the Jedi, which suited me fine. I killed quite a few of you and felt satisfaction, but then I met Kenobi and my perception of your kind began to shift. Perhaps not all of you were bad. Maybe there were some who had compassion, some who were like Ky.

"And then, Dooku betrayed me and I sought the help of my Sisters. But in seeking vengeance on Dooku, I failed and only succeeded in alerting him to the fact I wasn’t killed. For my mistake, the Nightsisters were massacred by General Grievous, another of Dooku’s servants. I was there and saw friends fall. Only I and the clan leader, Mother Talzin, survived.

"Then I began bounty hunting. In the course of hunting for a Zabrak named Savage, who should I run into but Kenobi, with his own enemy, Maul. Yes, Maul was a Zabrak and a trained Sith, and presumably the Dark Side enabled him to survive Obi-Wan’s butchery. When I ran into him, Maul had taken his lightsaber, so I lent Obi-Wan one of mine. Unfortunately, I got no bounty that day, since Maul bested him and we just had to escape. But I never forgot that fight. It was the first time we’d met as allies rather than enemies. And one day, I’d lost my sabers and Obi-Wan found them and returned them, at great risk to his reputation. I was a war criminal and if anyone knew what Kenobi had done, he’d probably have been stripped of rank and privilege. So you see, Jedi, why I was so upset when you destroyed one of my weapons?"

Luke nodded. "It’s almost a symbol of your relationship to Obi-Wan. But all I thought of at the time was eliminating a threat."

Asajj nodded. "I know. I don’t blame you. Obi-Wan often did the same when we dueled. 

"Kenobi and I met in the Mos Eisley cantina after the War, and there’s not much else to say. I’ve been here ever since, in between jobs."

Anakin found that he empathized with Asajj’s lack of a home, her shattered hopes, and the fact she was often alone. People used her, too, except…Anakin looked at Obi-Wan sharply.

Luke addressed Obi-Wan. "I’m sorry, but it’s still unacceptable to me. This betrayal of trust. Why did Father and Asajj forsake the Jedi way when we didn’t? How can they say they loved you and Ky?"

"People show and define love in different ways. You and I - we’re obedient and faithful to what we’re taught. If we love someone, they often know it because we sacrifice for them and are ourselves with them. 'Snappish and irritable' is what Anakin called it. I think of it more as showing imperfections. I believe Anakin and Asajj show love by kindness. They give gifts, say nice things, and above all, they keep loved ones near. Notice how the loss of loved ones devastated them? You and I mourned those we lost but we sought to uphold the things they believed and eventually accepted their deaths. The other two could not let go and begrudged the loss of their presences in their lives. Love, for them, is defined by the people they can’t bare losing. So falling to the Dark Side was not necessarily treasonous to them. It’s worse to play with their emotions or not care how they feel. But the Jedi are so goal-oriented that we often deem the objective more important than the person carrying it out, so I think Anakin couldn’t tolerate that."

"But that’s not right. I mean, you’ve always been patient with me when I’ve complained, and I think you genuinely cared that I was frustrated, even if the complaints were actually trivial teenage worries. Does that mean you didn’t love me, because you cared how I felt?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "Um…That’s not quite what I meant. But which upset you more, me not telling you that Vader and Anakin were the same person or my assertion that your training was more important than your friends? Both upset you, but which was less forgivable?"

"Well, I actually confronted you about Father and made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Yes, I couldn’t believe you told me to let Han and Leia die, but a part of me understood that the mission took precedence. Not telling me about Father felt like a lack of faith in me, like I either wouldn’t become a Jedi or would fall to the Dark Side if I knew the truth. It was almost insulting."

Anakin chimed in. "I’d have been more upset to be told to ditch my friends. In fact, Master told me to be disloyal to them several times in service to a mission. Like the time he wanted me to destroy a ship during the Clone Wars with R2 on it because he had our battle strategies and important Republic information that should not fall into enemy hands. I managed to rescue R2 and destroy the ship, but if I had to sacrifice that objective for R2, I would have." 

"I see." Luke nodded. "And you thought Obi-Wan didn’t love you because the mission was more important than how you felt about R2?"

"I hadn’t thought of it like that, but now that you mention it, that’s exactly how I felt. Like if he loved me, he wouldn’t be asking me to do that." Anakin nodded.

Obi-Wan answered Luke. "I had faith in you, Luke, but Anakin’s fall made me wary. And, well, how do you tell a young boy that his father is a Sith Lord? Particularly when his father only exists as an abstraction? It felt like since you didn’t have him physically, it was cruel to also destroy his image. At least, I had Qui-Gon, who was able to complete my training. I didn’t have to be trained by two Masters. I was fortunate enough to have many moments to cherish with him. You had none with your own father. I didn’t know how to do it kindly, so I said Vader killed him."

"You know, when you put it like that, I appreciate your consideration immensely. I guess between you three, I have a truer idea of who Father is now. And though I still can’t understand the appeal of the Dark Side, I get how the Emperor tricked Father. He pretended to be nice. With me, the Emperor didn’t bother hiding his true self."

"Obi-Wan did train you well," Anakin nodded. "He taught me everything he taught you. I just didn’t want to hear it. Master, I’m glad you lead Luke on good paths. He really is someone I can be proud of."

"Thanks, Father," Luke smiled.

Obi-Wan merely nodded to Anakin.

"Master, you’re so unemotional about these things," Anakin grumbled.

Obi-Wan shrugged. 

Asajj laughed. "Get used to it, Skywalker. He isn’t going to change for you. Which is just the way I like it, honestly." That earned her a bright smile. "See? He can be emotional. You just have to know what to say."

Luke chuckled merrily. "You two are sweet together. Did you start dating when you met in Mos Eisley?"

"No. But soon after. It was the will of the Force," Obi-Wan murmured.

"Are you married?" Luke asked curiously.

"We couldn’t," Obi-Wan said sadly. "Too conspicuous."

"Oh yeah." Luke frowned.

"Wait, they’re a couple?" Anakin raised his eyebrows.

"Well, yeah. Isn’t it obvious?"

"Skywalker doesn’t do subtle, Jedi," Asajj smirked.

"Luke. Please call me Luke. Calling me 'Jedi' can get confusing."

"I see your point. Luke." She offered him a genuine smile. He grinned back and winked conspiratorially. 

"Master, you broke the Code?"

"I guess so," Obi-Wan said cheerfully. "Master was highly amused. He’s a bad influence. His reasoning was that the Order fell, so the old Code was no longer relevant."

Obi-Wan gave a warm chuckle that had Luke reaching out to try to touch him again. "It’s nice to hear you actually sound happy. You used to laugh sometimes when you were alive, but it didn’t have the ring of joy it does now. It was more often sad."

"Well, it doesn’t matter now. Life concerns become trivial after you join the Force. You’ll see."

"I hope you’ll still be there when I get there."

"Something tells me we all will be."

Asajj got up and stretched. "As pleasant as talk of death is, I’m afraid I have to be going. There is much to think about and I’m tired besides. But since I don’t know Luke all that well, it’d be awkward to stay here if he’s going to spend the night. Obi-Wan, you can stay here if you like. I know the Skywalkers mean something to you, if not me."

Luke and the ghosts stood as well. Obi-Wan glanced at Asajj with concern and nodded kindly. "Can I walk you home?" Luke teased, his tone vaguely suggestive and his grin playful..

Asajj laughed with sincere amusement. "Kenobi, now I’m sure you trained him." Obi-Wan chuckled happily, his eyes shining with pride. "Luke, my dear," she purred, "I’ve learned to appreciate such offers, but it’s not necessary. Wouldn’t want my Knight to become jealous." She smirked at Luke and Obi-Wan. "But before I go-" she clasped Luke’s real hand and met his eyes solemnly, "thank you for freeing the galaxy. Since the Sith are no more, I have nothing to fear. And because of you, Kenobi no longer carries the regret of Skywalker’s fall. Knight Luke,, even if you do nothing else as a Jedi, you’d still be deserving of the title in my estimation. But I’m sure you’ll do even more, since you love Obi-Wan. I’m glad to have met you." She dropped Luke’s hand and waited for a reply.

Luke bowed with respect. "It was Father who killed the Emperor, but maybe thanking him is too much to ask of you. I understand what kind of praise you’ve just given me. I will remember your words and your honesty. Maybe it isn't my place to say, but I’m glad Obi-Wan’s with you. May the Force be with you always, in case we never meet again."

She bowed to Luke. "May the Force be with you, young Knight." She nodded politely to Anakin, who returned the gesture, and blew a kiss to Obi-Wan, who followed her into the twilight. 

Luke smiled after them. He had found what he came for. He lay on the floor and closed his eyes in contentment, touching the Force signatures of his father, his Master, and a new friend.


	4. Polarity

Asajj called the remains of her broken lightsaber to her hands and looked at them sadly. Luke had thrown it with such ferocity that it had been cleaved in two. Perhaps he’d used a touch of the Force to ensure his success. "It’s not your apprentice’s fault, but I wish he hadn’t done it," she murmured, a tad defeated. "This isn’t salvageable, is it?"

Obi-Wan frowned. "It does not appear so, darling," came his sympathetic reply. "You’ll either need to build a new one or just fight with one weapon from now on. However, I think the crystal is still intact. It would be worth it to me to retrieve."

Asajj nodded and resumed her walk to her cave. "They are valuable, I agree, both financially and symbolically. I’ll see to it." She felt Obi-Wan’s acknowledgement through the Force as they traveled in comfortable silence.

Asajj sat on the floor of her cave, lightsaber parts strewn around her. The crystal she took and stashed in a bag that also held credits. She planned to deposit everything to the bank in the near future, now that she could do so without the worry of attracting the wrong attention. The other parts were as Obi-Wan had said - basically useless. She swept everything into a pile and made a mental note to dispose of it later.

She gathered water, tea, and a ready-made meal and brought them outside to heat over a fire. Obi-Wan moved with her quietly, appreciating the scent of steeping leaves as she poured the hot liquid carefully into a cup. She ate slowly, considering what she’d learned of Anakin.

"You realize I’m not happy about having anything in common with Skywalker, right?" she began contentiously.

Obi-Wan didn’t answer. He didn’t need to.

"The irony is I never felt used by the Jedi. It was the Sith who betrayed me. But then, if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t have you, would I? So my original opinion of Skywalker yet remains: he was an idiot to choose a Sith over you. I can be civil, but don’t expect me to like him. And don’t expect us to get along without you or possibly Luke in the same room."

"Well actually, darling, if Anakin hadn’t destroyed the Order, you wouldn’t have me. So perhaps you owe him. And I would imagine Anakin would feel just as you do about being in a room together without safety measures."

"What? You expect me to thank him for massacring your Order? And good, that’s settled then."

"No. What he did was unconscionable. But there are things I gained through my loss that I would not trade a Council seat for. Didn’t you just say Dooku did you a favor?"

"Oh. It’s your damned idealism again. Fine. I see what you’re saying. You think I should forgive Skywalker. It’s not that simple. He doesn’t know how badly he hurt you."

"Oh, I think he does. Luke will make certain he doesn’t forget. Because Luke will always be the apprentice Anakin wasn’t."

"I can’t believe Luke’s related to him. They seem so different."

"Luke has Anakin’s love of flying and friends. Also Anakin’s spontaneity. But I believe he also inherited Padme’s idealism and sensitivity. Empathy is one of his most defining traits."

"Does he plan to fix up the Temple and train others in Jedi arts?"

"Luke did mention wanting to do so. We - Yoda, Anakin, and I - offered to help him find Force-sensitives who might be willing to learn, but he can’t really start recruiting until he has logistics of training and environment set up. We can help with that, too, of course, at least as far as describing how we did things."

Asajj pursed her lips thoughtfully, but said nothing.

Obi-Wan changed the subject. "Going back to Dooku, tell me. Do you forgive him for his betrayal?"

"Obi-Wan, he tried to kill me," Asajj snarled.

"I understand. He also massacred the Nightsisters, right? At least, you suspect he ordered them killed?"

"I don’t know who else it would be. Why? I suppose, since Dooku’s dead and he indirectly enabled me to choose a different path, I can forgive him for the betrayal. The Nightsisters should never have been killed, but at the same time, I can’t really say they did the galaxy any favors."

"And I could say precisely the same about Anakin," Obi-Wan murmured. "He tried to kill me, he betrayed me, and though the Order should not have been cut down in cold blood, I can understand why the Force willed it. I can even understand Anakin’s anger, because he was inducted into the Order because of the Sith and not because he was really wanted."

"But Luke was inducted because of the Sith as well. He’s not upset. He reveres you as a wise Master, as we respected our own. Skywalker doesn’t have an excuse."

"But I didn’t want Anakin. With Luke, it was very different. I bonded with him rather quickly. While I wasn’t sure how successful he’d be as a Jedi, I soon decided he was a good candidate and allowed him the choice to train with me. We both got our way. 

"I never asked Anakin what he wanted. It was not even an issue. He was my apprentice and that was final. As you know, neither of us were really happy about it, but then, no one offered to train Anakin and I don’t think he’d have been happy with anyone else besides me. It was really a case of both of us not having a choice."

"Your Master’s fault. He should not have made you promise to train Skywalker."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "It prepared me to help Luke. So it wasn’t a total loss. I think Master just thought that both of us would be great and why not double the potential by making us a team? Sure, it didn’t quite work out that way, but I can’t blame him for wanting the best for us. Certainly beats the alternative. I may have just given up entirely with no mission to complete after he died."

"Mmm," Asajj grumbled.

Obi-Wan chuckled. He knew Asajj hated being cornered. In an attempt to appease her, however, he said, "I do agree with you on one point, though. Anakin was stupid to listen to a Sith over me. He was a trained Knight and should have known better."

Asajj sighed in frustration. "I listened to a Sith over my own Master, so I guess we are even yet again."

"But you’ve spent your days in Light while Anakin has done irreparable damage to the galaxy. You’ve betrayed no one. You’ve given your best to whatever you undertook, both good and bad. You’ve never done anything halfway. Your heart has been true once you’ve committed to something. Anakin cannot claim any of this."

"I…I hadn’t considered this." Asajj smiled. "Thank you."

"Always a pleasure, my dear." Obi-Wan smiled back.


	5. Unforgiven

In Obi-Wan’s old hut, the tranquility was broken by the beeping of Luke’s comlink. Frowning in confusion, Luke answered. "Skywalker here."He tried to sound professional, but he always felt somewhat awkward. Leia was so much better at this sort of thing. 

"Luke," called a voice that made him smile. "Han said you are on Tatooine? I thought you hated the place. I would have recommended Naboo if you wanted a vacation. But I’m glad to know you made it safely."

Anakin’s breath caught and Luke felt his longing and anguish in the Force. 

"Luke?" Leia prompted.

"Oh. Um…Sorry. I got distracted. I haven’t been to Naboo before, though I think I may have seen the name on maps. I wanted somewhere familiar. I wanted home. As luxurious and wealthy as Coruscant is, it’s a little too much. I’m not sure it makes sense to you. You’re probably used to the extravagance."

Leia’s tone turned frosty. "Yes. I’m used to it. At least, you have a planet to return to. Don’t misunderstand, Luke. I’m not blaming you. You already know who I hold responsible. But nothing can remedy the destruction of Alderaan, even if you’re correct about seeing my parents again when I die. The monster you call our biological father sanctioned the permanent extinction of not just my parents, not just my home, but a place of peace, culture, beauty, and some indigenous plant and animal life whose only crime was to be alive. I question the sanity of our biological mother to have procreated with such a fiend. I love you, Luke, as my brother and my friend. But I’ll never accept him as part of the family. I know it hurts you, and I’m sorry, but I can’t. You tell me he’s different, that he saved your life, and I’m glad he did. But it’s not enough. Not for me."

Luke saw Anakin’s eyes fill with tears, felt him fade in the Force, felt the echo of crushing regret, resignation, and overwhelming grief. He sighed heavily. "I…I understand, Leia. I hope one day you’ll have a change of heart, but yes, the destruction of a planet, especially one with so much civilization, is a moral outrage and there was no good reason to do it. I think it would be better for you to let go of the hatred and accept what happened, but I realize you’re in no condition to do it right now. I’m sorry for your losses, Leia. You know I am." 

"I know, Luke. Thank you." There was a pause, and then, "You said General Kenobi spoke to you and helped you destroy the first Death Star, right?"

"Oh yeah," Luke grinned, feeling the exhilaration and triumph of that moment as though it were yesterday. It had been the first time he’d had to trust in the Force and his ability to command it. He’d felt like a true Jedi apprentice in that moment. It wasn’t just talk and training but a real situation that would not have ended so well without Han’s timely intervention and Obi-Wan’s insistence that Luke have faith. "I couldn’t have done it without him and Han." There was genuine fondness and happiness in his voice. "I was just talking to him before you called, in fact. Maybe I can teach you to talk to him, too."

"I’m not sure, Luke. I mean, I know I’m Force-sensitive, but I’ve gotten along okay without training. It’s just that Father - Bail - spoke highly of him and I’m a little sad I never got the chance to meet him. Would you tell him that? And would you thank him for his sacrifice for the Alliance? I think I’d be willing to learn to use the Force, but it might be safer for everyone involved if I’m not trained until I’ve accepted the loss of Alderaan and my parents. I don’t want to become like Vader and the Emperor."

"That reasoning makes a lot of sense, actually. I’ll be happy to tell him for you." Luke debated whether he should mention Asajj but decided not to. It wasn’t as though Leia was really friends with either of them. "Hey, could you do me a favor and get me some chocolate? I hear it’s really good but they don’t have any on Tatooine so I’ve never been able to try it."

"Sure, Luke. That’s easily managed." Leia smiled, happy to be of help. "I’ll even get you different varieties and you can try them all. My parents often had it. I think you’ll like it. I do."

"Thanks, Leia."

"No thanks necessary. Sorry to cut this short, but Han’s standing in the doorway, eying me impatiently. Stay safe and I hope to see you soon. You’d better tell us all about your trip when you get back."

Luke grinned. "I will. Enjoy. May the Force be with you both."

Leia disconnected the call and Luke sat up from his prone position, replacing the comlink in his belt. He tried to check on Anakin through their bond but was met with silence. "Father?" he queried. "Are you all right?"

Luke got no answer, though he did feel despair along the bond. He nodded to himself but was unsure of how to comfort his father. Alderaan was something even he was hard-pressed to dismiss, and because it affected Leia, he could not simply say Vader had done it and leave it at that. It was on par with the Jedi massacre in his mind, tragedies that did not have to happen and hurt those he loved. As far as the Jedi went, though, Obi-Wan seemed to have reached a point where he’d come to terms with his loss and was on good terms with Anakin, so Luke found he could forgive his father as well. In Leia’s case, Luke could neither forgive Anakin nor shut him out completely, feeling loyalty to both. He thought that the best thing he could do, at least for the time being, was to not mention Vader or Anakin in Leia’s presence and to remind himself that Leia needed time. He knew he’d still be mourning his own family right now if Obi-Wan hadn’t shown him that death is merely a transition. He found himself drawn to meditation to sooth his guilt and unease and slipped easily into it, the physical vanishing as the Force became more prominent.


	6. A Ceremonial Conspiracy

Anakin wandered the galaxy looking for his loved ones, but he found all of them engaged. Obi-Wan was with Ventress. What did he see in her? As far as he was concerned, Satine was a better choice. But then again, Obi-Wan definitely wasn’t a pacifist, and neither was Ventress. He and Padme were willing to sacrifice everything for each other, and Padme forgave him for so much darkness. It was clear Obi-Wan did the same for Ventress. Anakin mused on the irony. Ventress loved Obi-Wan as fiercely as he loved Padme. Maybe they couldn’t live without each other. Maybe Obi-Wan finally understood that Anakin simply couldn’t turn his back on Padme for anyone. After all, even if Obi-Wan blamed Master Qui-Gon, he broke the Jedi Code for Ventress. To Anakin, that meant love. At least, Anakin thought, Ventress wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She was determined and strong-willed, just like Padme. For Obi-Wan, Anakin decided he’d give Ventress a chance and at least be polite. 

Back to the task at hand. His mother was with the Larses and Padme was with her family. Luke was still alone, but he’d probably scold him again. But the only ones who would have condoned what happened to Alderaan were Sith. Anakin squirmed inwardly at that realization.

Anakin couldn’t go to the Temple. He didn’t quite feel like he belonged. But to his surprise, Yoda appeared in front of him.

"Get Obi-Wan for me, will you?" Yoda requested. He wasn’t carrying his stick.

"I don’t think he’d appreciate it at the moment. Ventress certainly wouldn’t," Anakin answered.

"But important, this is. Luke’s Knighting ceremony, this concerns. Unless mind he does not if conduct it, I do."

Anakin frowned. "It might mean more to Luke if Obi-Wan did it. I know Luke respects you, as much as I respect Obi-Wan, but one is only Knighted once."

"Agree I do. Have the opportunity, Obi-Wan should. Very well. Summon him, I will. To the Council chamber, you should go. Await us there, you will."

"Very well, Master Yoda," Anakin replied, disappearing.

Master Yoda suddenly materialized before Obi-Wan and Asajj as they were making their way back inside her home.

"No longer a Sith, you are," Yoda greeted Asajj. "Much you have learned. A good teacher, Master Obi-Wan is, hmmm?" His eyes twinkled playfully.

Asajj bowed solemnly and looked down at the green alien. "That he is," she murmured softly.

"Learned from you, has he?"

"I think he’s gotten much better about managing regret." Asajj nodded. "Living in the moment, too. But I think he credits his Master for that last."

"Both of you, I think," Obi-Wan put in.

"Then a good team, you are, yes." Yoda nodded solemnly to Obi-Wan and Asajj.

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan bowed. Asajj nodded back to Yoda and gave Obi-Wan a wry smile.

"Master Obi-Wan, considered Luke’s Knighting ceremony, have you?"

Obi-Wan glanced over at Asajj, who began discreetly walking away. He considered calling after her, but she was not a Jedi. He turned to Yoda. "No, Master. I did not think Luke needed one. His Knighthood is official because he defeated Vader."

"Elsewhere, we should speak. To the Council chamber, we will adjourn." With that, Yoda vanished, Obi-Wan close behind.

When they arrived, Obi-Wan found Qui-Gon, Dooku, and Anakin already waiting.

"Master." Obi-Wan smiled warmly at Qui-Gon, who returned an equally kind smile and touched Obi-Wan’s forearm affectionately. "Master Dooku." Obi-Wan nodded formally. Dooku inclined his head elegantly. "Padawan." Obi-Wan touched Anakin’s shoulder gently, and Anakin nodded respectfully as Obi-Wan took a seat across from Qui-Gon. Anakin and Dooku sat facing each other. Yoda sat between Dooku and Qui-GOn.

"Only Luke is missing, or our lineage would be complete," Anakin pointed out, winking at Obi-Wan.

"Even so, the circle is complete," Obi-Wan rejoined, smiling.

Yoda spoke up. "Obi-Wan thinks a Knighting ceremony, Luke does not need. But all our knighthoods celebrated were. Think he should have one, I do."

"Obi-Wan wasn’t very happy at his Knighting," Qui-GOn put in. "No thanks to me. Obi-Wan never got a proper one, with all his friends and the accompanying celebration. We cannot give Luke a proper one, either. His friends cannot see us, he cannot interact with his family, and he doesn’t know most of us."

"But his accomplishment should be acknowledged," Dooku put in. "He withstood the temptation of the Dark Side, as you and your Padawan did." He nodded to Qui-Gon.

Everyone looked expectantly at Anakin, who actually shrank back a little. Obi-Wan leaned a little closer to Anakin, smiling encouragingly.

"Does Luke want a ceremony? If he doesn’t, why plan one? He might not want one if all the important people in his life can’t be there. That’s why my ceremony wasn’t as happy as it could have been."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips thoughtfully. "I assumed Luke would want one, if only because it is tradition, but I haven’t actually asked."

Anakin shook his head, scowling. "I’ll go talk to him. If he says no, we’re abiding by that, right?"

All the Jedi Masters nodded in unison.

Anakin nudged Luke in the Force. He was no longer meditating but was training with his lightsaber. Asajj was training as well, both of them perfectly synchronized. Anakin noted that Asajj was just as advanced as Luke. He sure had missed a lot. He stayed off to the side, watching the show. Maybe this was what drew Obi-Wan to her - her willingness to learn Jedi ways. Luke and Asajj stopped simultaneously, Luke acknowledging his father with a wave and Asajj nodding curtly.

"Obi-Wan taught you, Ventress?" Anakin asked curiously.

"A lot of time on our hands, Skywalker," Asajj purred.

"I thought you hated the Jedi," Anakin challenged.

"That’s you, Skywalker," Ventress snapped.

Luke edged between them nervously, looking from one to the other but unwilling to say anything lest he earn their combined wrath.

"Look, Ventress, I didn’t come here to talk to you, but I’m obligated to threaten you since Obi-Wan chose you. I’ll make your life miserable if you break his heart."

"If I was going to do that, I’d have done it already. Anyway, you can’t talk, Skywalker. I had to fix what you broke."

Luke looked sadly at Anakin. "I had to help. Not that I mind. It was my pleasure to do so."

Anakin sighed guiltily and nodded. "Thanks, Ventress. And Luke."

"It wasn’t for you," Asajj growled.

"No thanks needed," Luke replied kindly.

"Skywalker," Ventress pinned him with an aggressive stare, "what you did to the Jedi was nothing short of evil. Even I never sank so low. Still, and I’m saying this because of Obi-Wan, destroying his family actually brought us together, so I suppose I’m thanking you for making him available. Are we even now?"

Anakin smirked. "Of course. For now." He addressed Luke. "Son, your teachers, and mine, are currently discussing whether or not you should have a Knighting ceremony. Keep in mind you won’t be getting a traditional one, since you don’t have a braid to ritually cut. It would only be Jedi there. Since Ventress isn’t one, and this is Jedi business, I’m not sure she’d be welcome. But they’ve neglected to ask the most important question: whether you actually want one despite all these caveats. What do you think?"

"I’d have no idea how to behave. Obi-Wan never enforced the use of formal titles. But if it’s not traditional anyway, maybe it doesn’t matter so much? I know I am considered a Knight already and a Jedi doesn’t seek glory, but it’d be nice to have my hard work recognized. I guess Master Yoda would be running it?"

"Well, technically, he’d have a right to because he trained you, but he only did so because Obi-Wan couldn’t. Master Yoda and I think Obi-Wan should Knight you. Obi-Wan thinks you don’t need a ceremony because we pretty much promoted you nonverbally on Endor."

"If Obi-Wan is unwilling to Knight me, I don’t want a ceremony. I like Master Yoda, I really do. I respect him just as much as Obi-Wan. But it wouldn’t be the same any other way. It’s up to him. I’m losing nothing if I don’t have one. If I do, well…" Here, Luke grinned happily.

"Got it," Anakin affirmed. "If the ceremony does go ahead, would you rather have it tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Luke said quickly. "I don’t want to be falling asleep. And can an exception be made for Asajj? I mean, since Obi-Wan’s a big part of things?"

"It would be appreciated, actually," Asajj agreed. "I’ve never seen a Jedi ceremony before - not even an unconventional one."

Anakin looked at Luke, and then at Ventress, almost as though he thought they’d planned this together. "Yeah, okay. I’ll put in a good word for you, but only because of Luke and Obi-Wan. And maybe because Knighting ceremonies have never been attended by outsiders to the Order." 

Anakin reappeared back in the Council chamber and resumed his place by Obi-Wan. "Luke wants a ceremony, old man," he winked at him, "but only if you are Knighting him. If you say no, he doesn’t need one. Master Yoda," Anakin addressed the Grand Master, "Luke says he likes and respects you, but his heart bonded with Master. Luke and Ventress also request that she be allowed to attend, since she’s never seen a Jedi ritual. They cite her connection to Master."

"Hmmm," Yoda sighed, "a Jedi, Ventress is not. Exceptions we did not make for others."

"I don’t know, Master," Anakin argued. "I saw her training with Luke just now. Courtesy of Obi-Wan. She might not be a Jedi, but she’s not exactly an outsider, either. In fact, she could be a Knight right now if she wanted - she’s that advanced."

"Yes. Met Ventress briefly, I did, before escorting Obi-Wan here. Felt like a Jedi, she did. Pleased, I was. Impressed, too. Come a long way, she has. And Dooku, she knows. An exception, I am willing to make, if agree, we do."

Qui-GOn nodded. So did Obi-Wan and Anakin. Dooku looked unsure. His brow furrowed with worry, but eventually, he agreed as well.

"How can I refuse to conduct the ceremony, since that would be denying Luke the culmination of his apprenticeship and Asajj the opportunity to attend a Jedi rite?"

"Luke says if you don’t want to, feel free not to," Anakin replied.

"It’s not that I don’t wish to," Obi-Wan clarified. "It’s that I’ve sort of forgotten how. It’s been a long time since I myself have attended a Knighting. A proper one, I mean, that wasn’t curtailed because of the war. This could be quite humiliating."

"I can help you, Padawan," Qui-Gon murmured gently, "but I think you remember the spirit of the ceremonies. The ritual words don’t have to be exact, so long as the meaning is the same. At least, that is my view."

Obi-Wan met his Master’s eyes a long moment, contemplating the advice. Then he smiled. "When’s Luke’s Knighting, and where?"

"Why are you asking me?" Qui-GOn laughed. "That is the choice of the Padawan’s Master, or the team. Traditionally, it would be here, but that’s not possible for obvious reasons. You know there were teams that chose their favorite meditation spots, for example."

Obi-Wan looked wistful. "I’d have wanted mine in our garden," came his sad response, "near the fountain. You loved the plants; I loved the water. I think Luke’s ceremony should be in the cave where he built his lightsaber. It would carry a lot of emotional weight for us both."

"Sounds like a fine choice," Qui-Gon praised. "I know where it is, if you two need help getting to it." He nodded to Dooku and Yoda.

"We can always just find you when we need to be there," Dooku reminded him.

Anakin chimed in. "Luke wants to be rested, so we should do this tomorrow sometime."

"Sounds fine," Obi-Wan acknowledged. "Maybe after they’ve had breakfast but before it has gotten really hot."

"If nothing further there is, may the Force be with you," Yoda adjourned the meeting.

The Jedi bowed to each other and the Masters paired with their apprentices, Qui-GOn and Obi-Wan off to meditate and Dooku and Yoda to spar. Anakin set off to give Luke the good news.


	7. Similarity

While the Jedi finalized plans, Luke came to a realization. "Ma’am, it’s too bad we couldn’t train together. I mean, if Obi-Wan was teaching you already. We could have met sooner."

"It might have been fun to help Obi-Wan train you in lightsaber technique or play Force games with both of you. But your existence had to be hidden, even from me. You were the last hope of the Jedi to stop the Sith. And Obi-Wan has always been responsible."

"When Vader killed him, it was…My world just stopped. I was shooting soldiers like they were responsible. If my friends hadn’t been there, I’d probably have fallen to the Dark Side right then. I missed him terribly, but I heard his voice when I flew with the Alliance pilots to destroy the first Death Star. I’ll always remember how he enabled me to reach my full potential, as a Jedi and a person. He taught me to believe in both my abilities and the Force."

Asajj smiled, her eyes full of love and kindness. "Kenobi has that effect on people," she said softly. "He is one of the few who saw my potential, and I’d say he brings out the best in me. The worst, too, but I’ve gotten a little better about listening to good impulses. The Sith couldn’t quite train them out of me."

"Father, too. But most can’t really believe he saved my life. Though I suppose I can’t blame them, given what happened to Alderaan."

Asajj actually shuddered. "I felt that, young Knight. It was…horrific. As someone who is used to death, destruction, and war, it was absolutely unsettling. I couldn’t believe it when Obi-Wan told me what that was. But that much simultaneous death…It was a massacre greater than that of both our peoples. An irreversible loss to the galaxy."

"Alderaan was my sister’s homeworld. She lost her adoptive parents. She says she’ll never forgive or accept Father."

"I don’t blame her. When Dooku ordered the Nightsisters destroyed, I bore a grudge for many years. But holding grudges doesn’t really change what happened. It may also be worth reminding her that to forgive doesn’t necessarily mean excusing the action. What Dooku did is not okay, but my loss did enable me to fully understand Kenobi’s, and such shared grief was one more thing we have in common. Maybe one day, your sister will see the value in a strengthened bond."

Luke perked up, looking hopeful. "Asajj, that’s a great idea. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I lost my home and family to the Empire. They wanted to get the Death Star plans back, but cunning R2 was already away in search of Obi-Wan. Leia hid the plans in R2, you see. My Uncle Owen bought him and 3PO from some Jawas, and the droids were tracked to my family. So I totally understand my sister’s pain. I should remind her about that. But I don’t think she’d see that as a bonding point. She’d just say Vader hurt us both and that her loss is greater."

"True," Asajj concurred, "and she may feel that way her entire life. But if you are patient and accepting of her feelings, your love might change her mind, as Obi-Wan’s has done with me." 

"Thanks, Asajj," Luke grinned. "I mean it. I think I see why Obi-Wan loves you."

"Me, too," Anakin chimed in.

Asajj started. Luke blinked. Anakin chuckled. 

"Skywalker! How much did you hear?" Ventress growled.

"Enough," Anakin said evasively.

"Skywalker," Ventress threatened.

Anakin smirked. "What? You’re not embarrassed, are you? Look, I didn’t overhear you on purpose. I just came to tell you two that Obi-Wan agreed to Luke’s request to conduct the Knighting, and he wants it in the cave where his lightsaber was built. You just happened to be talking about Leia possibly forgiving me over time. Maybe it was the will of the Force for me to arrive when I did."

"Fine, fine," Ventress grumbled. "Never mind. The damage is done. I don’t know where this cave is."

Luke had a faraway look about him. "That’s a perfect place. The Force is strong there, and it’s associated with a lot of joy. When is it?"

"Tomorrow, after breakfast. We’ll escort you when it’s time."

"I look forward to it," Luke said excitedly.

Asajj seemed more unsure. "Am I really welcome there?"

"You know Master, Master Yoda, and Master Dooku. More than enough Jedi connections."

"Master Dooku? He’s a Jedi?"

"Yeah. Like me. He didn’t precisely die a Sith."

"No wonder Kenobi asked if I forgave him. Might be awkward to meet again."

"Not too late to back out," Anakin challenged.

"What? You think I’m a coward?" Ventress retorted.

"You were always running from Obi-Wan and me," Anakin laughed.

Ventress showed her teeth. "Not this time, Skywalker. I’m not a Separatist."

"Prove it," Anakin goaded.

"We’ll meet again soon," Ventress promised. "Luke, I’d better be heading back home. I think Obi-Wan’s looking for me. Until next time, Skywalker." Anakin’s mocking laughter followed her as she swept away.

Luke had intended to sleep early so he’d be alert and energized for his ceremony, but instead, he found he was too excited and nervous to rest. It didn’t help that he didn’t know what to expect. What if he embarrassed himself, or worse, Obi-Wan? He wanted everything to go perfectly but he was sure something would go wrong. He wanted to talk to Obi-Wan, but Asajj was with him. His father was also unavailable, mentioning something about talking to his mother and grandmother to inform them of his impending promotion. He began fiddling with his lightsaber, rolling it in his fingers in agitation. But then, he heard a welcome chuckle as Obi-Wan appeared in front of him, smiling in amusement.

"Nervous about tomorrow?" he queried with teasing sarcasm.

"Yeah," Luke fidgeted, still turning his saber over and over.

"It is a momentous occasion, but also one of great solemnity. I do not mean to imply that you should not be happy. But perhaps remembering what it means to be a Knight will help to calm you somewhat. You should meditate and sleep, or sleep and meditate. In any case, you should definitely do both before we meet again. Also remember to eat. And do not worry. I have found that worrying merely makes accidents more likely." Obi-Wan winked and disappeared. 

Luke chuckled happily. Obi-Wan always knew how to help. And Luke was always pleasantly surprised for some reason. Following Obi-Wan’s gentle directive, he sank into meditation, which he always did before bed, and fell into a restful, rejuvenating sleep.


	8. Fear Leads to Anger

Luke woke early the next day, excited and cheerful. There was still a vague uncertainty underneath, but it was easily drowned out by his more positive emotions. This was the day he would officially be named a Knight of the Order. All his training would be acknowledged and celebrated. Not that he really minded if it wasn’t, but he had to admit it would be gratifying to be appreciated. But most importantly to him, Obi-Wan would be the one to claim him as apprentice and proclaim his faith in him. Obi-Wan would be on record as the one who declared him ready and capable.

Luke had a breakfast of fruit, cereal, and a cold meat sandwich, washed down with water. He normally preferred something heavier, but given the butterflies he would doubtless be experiencing soon, he decided to play it safe.

Asajj was contemplating how much offense it would cause the Jedi if she gave Luke credits. She knew that traditionally, Jedi were not supposed to accept personal gifts that went beyond legitimate needs for survival, but how was he to reestablish the Order’s presence in the physical world without them? She separated out a smaller percentage of her earnings for herself, along with her lightsaber crystal, and put it in a chest with a lock. The remainder of her money she left in the leather bag she’d intended to take to the bank. It seemed her plans had changed. She’d still be depositing, just not nearly as much. She zipped the bag shut and set it by the cave entrance, ready to go when she was.

Obi-Wan and Yoda were preparing the ceremony site. With the Force, they swept the cave floor of debris, sending pebbles and excess dirt outside. With some charcoal, Obi-Wan drew a circle in the middle of the floor. It was not a huge one, but big enough for seven or eight adults to stand in comfortably at arm’s length. Jedi ghosts began to make their way into the cave. Those who had been on the last Council during the Clone Wars took places closer to the circle, while the rest lined the walls. Three civilian ghosts also drifted in, Anakin close behind.

"Beru, Shmi, Senator," Obi-Wan nodded politely.

"Obi-Wan," the women chorused, smiling. To the Master’s surprise, Beru stepped forward as their representative. She bowed to the robed Master, and then looked to Anakin for guidance. 

Anakin just grinned and nodded. "Tell him the truth."

Beru turned back to Obi-Wan. "Anakin came by last night. First, he approached his mother, me, and Owen, informing us of Luke’s ceremony and explaining it is an important Jedi ritual and would we like to watch? He also said that it is not tradition to allow civilians to attend, but that this was Luke so it was different. Owen declined, as you’ve likely already guessed. He said I could tell him what happened later. Then, we went and contacted Padme and here we are now. Anakin told us he does not think Luke will be able to see or speak to us, but we wished to be here even so. Anakin advised that since you are leader of Luke’s ceremony, we should appeal to you to allow us to watch. Would you be willing to make an exception for us? We’ll be unobtrusive and discreet."

Obi-Wan smiled kindly at Beru and then turned to Anakin, his eyes narrowing shrewdly. "Padawan, you’ve well and truly put me in a corner," he grumbled, but it was more affectionate than annoyed. Seemed everyone who got to know him soon figured out he had a gentle heart underneath the reserved mask. Addressing the women, he said, "How can I refuse such a humble request? Luke became a Jedi under special circumstances, so it stands to reason there would be people outside the Order interested in his success. However, I would request that you do not speak to Anakin or otherwise call attention to yourselves. Luke would become curious and he may be saddened to know he cannot interact with you. Do I have a deal?"

The women nodded frantically and bowed gratefully. Padme gave Obi-Wan a bright smile and said, "Thank you, Master Jedi. This means a great deal to all of us."

Obi-Wan actually laughed. The "Master Jedi" reference was not lost on him. He bowed back to the women and intoned, "It is a privilege to continue to serve." With a teasing wink at Padme, the women withdrew and hid in the crowd. They were dressed in nondescript robes and blended in remarkably well, unless one knew to look for them.

When Obi-Wan looked for Yoda, he found he was gone. "Anakin, where’d Master Yoda go?"

"Don’t know," Anakin replied casually. "He left while your back was turned."

"Hmmm. Okay, well, do you think we’re ready?"

"Everything seems in order," Anakin affirmed.

At this point, Master Yoda reappeared, Dooku and Qui-Gon flanking him on either side. "Ah, there you are," Obi-Wan greeted. "I suppose I should go get Asajj, then. Someone else summon Luke." He teleported outside her cave and noted the bag of credits on the way in. He stared at it in puzzlement and found Asajj doing lightsaber exercises, though nothing very acrobatic. "Ready to go, darling?" he queried neutrally.

Asajj deactivated her lightsaber and looked Obi-Wan in the eyes worriedly. "Maybe…Maybe I shouldn’t."

"Hmmm? Why not? I thought you wanted to? It’s what I heard last night."

"That was before I heard Dooku would be there."

"But haven’t you forgiven him?"

"Well, in theory. The things Dooku did are far in the past. But Sith also have cruel methods of punishment, and I think it’s ingrained in me to feel some intimidation at the idea. I’m not a Jedi, anyway, so I suppose there’s no real reason for me to be there."

"I confess I’m a bit disappointed," Obi-Wan murmured. "You were getting along so well with Luke, and he seems to like you." 

"Yes. Once in a lifetime opportunity, especially for me. I know." Asajj sighed sadly. "I’d be sorry to miss it."

"Then don’t," Obi-Wan crooned in a voice Asajj found difficult to resist.

"Obi-Wan, this really isn’t the time," Asajj chuckled.

Obi-Wan turned serious. "It’s Dooku you’re afraid of, right? Not the ceremony itself?"

"Right," Asajj nodded. "I have enough links to the Jedi to easily defend my presence there if anyone objects. I’m just not sure Dooku’s really changed, and seeing him might bring back old hatred and grudges. I wouldn’t want to ruin such a special occasion with that. Luke would notice, from what you said about his empathy."

"What if I brought Dooku here and you two could feel each other out? And then, if you find you get overwhelmed by negativity, we could postpone the ceremony?"

"Postpone it? No. I’m not worth that. Luke’s looking forward to this."

"You’re worth it to me," Obi-Wan protested.

"Only to you, my dear. It’s why you mean so much to me. Talking to Dooku here sounds like a better idea than just meeting him with everyone else. The best would be if you could stay and act as a mediator. Dooku respected you, you know, even though he did try to kill you on multiple occasions. But you have obligations to the ceremony, so…" Asajj trailed off uncertainly.

Obi-Wan frowned. "I will go talk to the others, apprise them of the situation. I suspect Dooku is somewhat nervous about this meeting as well. But I am yet hopeful we’ll come to an understanding agreeable to everyone. Wait here, yes?"

Asajj nodded and Obi-Wan returned to the ceremony site. Luke was already there, the picture of Jedi calm. But Obi-Wan felt a restrained anticipation and impatience over their training bond. He knew Anakin felt it, too, by the way he hovered near Luke and kept him steady. Both looked surprised when they noted Ventress’ absence, but Obi-Wan caught a flash of guilt in Anakin’s expression before it was made neutral again. Anakin stiffened at Obi-Wan’s angry gaze.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan snapped in that all-too-familiar tone of annoyance he remembered as an apprentice, "what did you do this time?"

Luke looked between them uneasily. He had never heard such a tone from Obi-Wan before. He was doing his best not to cringe physically, but at Obi-Wan’s somewhat gentler glance his way, he figured he wasn’t doing so well. He wondered if he should leave. He’d heard that tone from Uncle Owen and knew this could get ugly.

Anakin glanced away uneasily. "Um…I didn’t mean to. I was just having fun."

"Padawan, don’t give me your excuses. You know something about Asajj’s change of heart."

"Master, I didn’t actually think she wouldn’t come. I was just teasing her."

"But you don’t want her here, do you?" Obi-Wan was accusing.

Anakin responded defensively. "What? I told you yesterday she and Luke requested she be allowed to be here."

Obi-Wan answered in disbelief. "Right. Dutifully delivering messages. But I know you don’t like her and don’t like to share people." Obi-Wan indicated Luke, who looked crestfallen.

Padme, Beru, and Shmi looked at Obi-Wan and Anakin with concern. Shmi broke away to try to intervene, but Beru caught her arm. "Obi-Wan asked us not to stand out, remember?"

Shmi lowered her head sadly and came back to the group.

Anakin’s gaze hardened. "You know what? You’re right. I don’t like her. Think you could do so much better. At least, Satine was prettier."

Luke blinked. Satine? Was that an ex? But Jedi weren’t supposed to get romantically involved…

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in absolute fury. "I can’t believe you just said that!"

"It’s just my opinion. Or am I not entitled to one, Master?" He sneered contemptuously.

Luke looked at Obi-Wan, then Anakin, and then turned and fled, eyes full of tears. The Knights in question stared after him with identical expressions of guilt.

"Master, this is all your fault," Anakin spat.

"Padawan, you still never told me what happened." Because Obi-Wan was feeling absolutely horrendous, his tone came out cold as ice.

"I did. I said I teased her because she wasn’t sure if she should come. I mentioned her connections to numerous Jedi, including you and Dooku. At that name, she said it might be awkward to see him again. I said she didn’t have to come. She said she’d be here. I figured that was the end of it. I actually assumed she’d keep her word."

Dooku came gliding up to them on hearing his name. "I couldn’t help overhearing your quarrel. I imagine many of us couldn’t when Skywalker mentioned Satine." Obi-Wan looked away, blushing. "At any rate, that’s not important. If Ventress doesn’t want me here, I don’t have to be. I’ve seen more than my share of Knightings. She’s never seen one. I can stay at the Temple. It’s really not an issue. The young Skywalker wouldn’t even miss me."

"Actually, Master Dooku," Obi-Wan began, "I meant to tell everyone that we’d run into a problem and to ask you to come with me to talk to Asajj, but I guess old habits die hard. Anakin and I have always been…volatile. Given what you know of my and Asajj’s relationship, I think you can understand how I overreacted. Anakin and Asajj don’t exactly have a good history."

"Ventress wants to talk? I’m surprised she’s even doing that."

"I think she’s curious to see if you’re really a Jedi," Obi-Wan nodded.

Dooku chuckled and nodded. "Understandable. I’ll go with you."

"Anakin, you had no ulterior motive for mentioning Dooku to Asajj?"

Anakin sighed grumpily. "I keep telling you I didn’t mean any harm."

Dooku coughed. "I’ll just…be outside." He disappeared. 

Obi-Wan and Anakin noted that the cave was now mysteriously empty. Both of them wondered how much everyone had heard.

Obi-Wan sighed and looked at Anakin. "So what happened was that you innocently mentioned Dooku because of Asajj’s history with him, she remarked that maybe she didn’t want to run into him, and then you took the opportunity to humiliate her?"

"Well, I did enjoy embarrassing her," Anakin admitted. "But she reacted as usual. You know, 'You don’t scare me' and blah blah blah. I figured she’d be here right now and no big deal."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan shook his head in exasperation. "Look, you go deal with Luke. Let’s just compare notes later."

"Okay, Master," Anakin murmured, subdued. It was starting to sink in that maybe he should have shown Ventress a tad more consideration. If not for her, for Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan nodded in farewell and left with Dooku. Anakin found Luke at the remains of the Lars homestead.


	9. Full Circle

Obi-Wan and Dooku found Asajj outside, sitting on a ledge near her home. "I decided I felt more comfortable having this meeting in a more neutral location," Asajj explained, nodding to Dooku. "A purely emotional thing. I know Dooku doesn’t have patience for that."

"Asajj," Obi-Wan gasped.

Dooku laughed. "It’s fine, Kenobi. She’s right, after all. Qui-Gon could tell you."

Obi-Wan thought this over. "Master did mention once that you weren’t exactly there for him if his problem was a matter of the heart," Obi-Wan nodded. "Said he promised himself he wouldn’t do that to his apprentices. But while he largely succeeded, he didn’t always." Obi-Wan shrugged. 

"Clearly, he succeeded often enough," Dooku replied. "I remember you after he died. That was shortly before I left the Order."

"Yes," Obi-Wan whispered.

Asajj cut in. "Yeah, that’s enough about you, Kenobi." Her tone was full of laughter. "I thought this was about me."

Obi-Wan chuckled, offering Asajj a warm smile.

Dooku looked between them, calculating. "What did you wish to discuss, Ventress?"

Asajj stared at Dooku for several beats. She hadn’t actually planned what to say. Obi-Wan began to move away slowly, but with her eyes still on Dooku, Asajj growled, "Stay here, Kenobi. I can’t do this without you."

Obi-Wan stopped and then resumed his place next to Asajj. Dooku sat across from her, waiting patiently.

Finally, Asajj just decided to be direct. "You betrayed me and tried to kill me. Then, you killed my family. You also tortured me, and that torture took a long time for Obi-Wan to heal."

Dooku nodded. "Your family tried to kill me. What I did was revenge."

"Yeah, but if you hadn’t betrayed me, we wouldn’t have tried to kill you."

"Look, I had no choice," Dooku protested. "Sidious didn’t want you around."

"Oh, right. Blame him. You expect me to feel sorry for you because you had a cruel Master?"

"Ventress, you know perfectly well he was more powerful than I. If I didn’t obey, he’d have tortured me to death."

"Because your life was more important than mine," Asajj growled sarcastically.

"Ventress, I was a Sith. Of course, my life was more important than yours."

Obi-Wan winced, but then his lips twitched as he tried not to laugh. Painfully blunt, but he did appreciate sarcastic humor.

"Oh right, Kenobi. Take his side," Asajj complained, though it was only halfhearted. She couldn’t entirely blame Obi-Wan. It was a valid point. That was the way of the Sith.

Dooku pressed his advantage. "You might not believe this, Ventress, but there was a certain…regard for you. When Sidious ordered me to kill you, I did try to object. I said you were valuable to me. Of course, being a Sith, such sentiment did not preclude punishing you harshly, but we had a mutual hatred for Skywalker and a mutual respect for Kenobi here. And if it makes you feel better, Sidious ultimately had Skywalker execute me with my own lightsaber. So you got your revenge."

"Skywalker killed you?" Asajj whispered. She actually found she was horrified. "That’s not revenge, Dooku. I feel sorry for you. That’s…It’s downright humiliating. Was Skywalker still a 'Knight' at the time?"

"Oh yes," Dooku drawled, rather enjoying Asajj’s mocking use of the title.

Asajj turned her head away from Obi-Wan and Dooku and spat on the ground. "The Jedi were idiots."

"Hey, wait," Obi-Wan protested.

Dooku smirked at Asajj. "Why do you think I left? Qui-Gon was killed because of negligence of the Council and that was the last straw. It was rather amusing to frame a Jedi and create an army built to destroy them."

Obi-Wan flinched and looked away.

"Dooku," Asajj scolded, touching Obi-Wan in the Force gently, soothingly. Obi-Wan turned back to them. His eyes were still sad, but he appeared calm again.

"It was too bad about the Temple massacre," Dooku said softly. "I may have become disillusioned with the Council and the Republic, but cutting down defenseless Jedi, many of whom I knew…Even I think that destruction was too much. If I’d known the clones would be turned on the Temple itself, I’m not sure I’d have agreed to Sidious’ plan. In hindsight, I should have known, but I suppose I was more focused on the Separatist movement and sabotaging the Republic. 

"Maybe the destruction had to happen so the young Skywalker could rebuild the Order and we exist to help ensure it does not go off course again. Hopefully it does not embroil itself in politics and remains an entity focused on growing knowledge and helping the downtrodden."

"You know, Dooku, that is something I wholeheartedly agree with. I didn’t really care for the politics, either. Formality is one thing. But sometimes, deep inside, I used to wonder why we helped politicians so much, especially because they often had their own security already. Sure, they didn’t have the Force, but most people don’t believe it exists, anyway."

"I’d say they’d start believing pretty quickly once they saw our abilities," Asajj smirked at Obi-Wan.

"Some people are stubborn. Even if they see evidence, they flat out don’t want to acknowledge it."

Asajj pondered that. "Well, yes. It’s their mistake if they want to carry on underestimating us."

Dooku chuckled. "I always did like that about Ventress. No problem taking advantage of weaknesses."

"I suppose you taught her well in that regard," Obi-Wan murmured, somewhat morosely.

"Hey, Dooku. Maybe try calling me Asajj once in a while? If you like, I mean." 

Dooku tilted his head curiously. "So you aren’t upset about my torturing you?"

"It was not right, but as a former slave, I’m no stranger to abuse. It’s mostly the Force lightning I take real issue with. Oh, and the Force choking. Sith devices, and I can’t justify either. Not anymore."

Dooku agreed. "I sometimes inflicted more pain than was reasonable for a particular failure. Sidious inflicted the same pain on me for mine. I was unfamiliar with such tactics as a Jedi. We do not condone beating or abusing apprentices. But to cause pain, I found, satisfied a perverse craving, felt powerful and gratifying." He paused and glanced at Obi-Wan. "Kenobi looks disgusted. I suppose he would be. Qui-Gon would not have understood, either."

Asajj nodded slowly. "I do. And I have Force choked others, though I never did inflict Force lightning. It was some invisible line I couldn’t cross."

"You always had too much pity to be a proper Sith," Dooku chided. "But I…I had too much trust. What of your family?"

"It was business," Asajj replied. "If I hadn’t sought vengeance, they would still be alive. They should have been left alone, but it’s not as though I grew up with them so I didn’t lose as many personal friends. Obi-Wan’s situation was very different. I’m more upset on his behalf, the pain the loss of the Order caused him. But you seem to be friends with him, so if he’s okay, I’m okay with you."

"It’s all right, Asajj," Obi-Wan said kindly. "Anakin forced me to reevaluate priorities, learn who I am as a person. Through tragedy, I became both physically and spiritually powerful."

Dooku rolled his eyes at Asajj. "He and Qui-Gon are the same. Blasted optimism."

Asajj laughed. "No argument there."

"Then you’re coming to the ceremony?" Dooku inquired.

"Certainly." She got up to head home. "Have to pick something up first."

"Hang on," Obi-Wan called. "It’s…We have a situation."

"What?" Asajj sat back down.

"It’s on hold. I’m not sure if it’s still on."

"Well, that’s okay. We can head over and make our apologies and so on."

"Um…" Obi-Wan glanced at Dooku awkwardly. "It’s not that easy, I’m afraid."

Dooku cleared his throat. "There was a scene."

Asajj looked confused, and then suspicious. "What happened?"

Dooku smirked. "Skywalker."

"It figures," she muttered. "He ruins everything."

"No," Obi-Wan whispered. "This was my fault."

"You always defend him," Asajj grumbled.

"That’s his apprentice. He’s obligated," Dooku put in, trying to help.

"No. Skywalker’s supposedly a Knight. No obligation on Kenobi’s part."

"You would think," Dooku murmured. "I personally agree with you, but you have to remember who trained Kenobi. They’re both unusually prone to attachment. TO them, apprenticeships are forever."

"Humph," Asajj grunted. "Well, what did Skywalker do to cause a scene?"

"He mentioned Satine. I vaguely remember her. As a neutral planet, I had little reason to deal with Mandalore, but we’ve met once or twice in passing. Skywalker said she was more beautiful than you, which Kenobi did not take kindly to at all. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that angry. Ever."

"You should have seen me when Master died. I bisected Maul. And of course, there was Anakin, who I left burning alive. And that’s after I maimed him."

"I always knew Kenobi would have been an asset to the Dark Side," Dooku chuckled at Asajj. "If I could just get him to tap into that anger and forsake the strict morality of the Jedi. But Kenobi was always aware of that part of himself and guarded well against it."

"Nah. Kenobi has too much conscience to be a proper Sith. As for Satine being more beautiful, Skywalker’s probably right. But there’s more to attraction than mere looks. But maybe he’s too shallow or immature to know that and it was the best he could do."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Well, Anakin has learned a thing or two since becoming a Force ghost, though I can see why it might not seem that way right now. But you see, Luke ran off. He may not want the Knighting after all. He saw our fight and became overwhelmed."

"Well, it’s nothing to do with him. Why would he get scared?"

"No. He was sad. I accused Anakin of not wanting to share him. So he could have gotten the idea the fight was his fault."

"What?" Asajj blinked confusedly. "I’m obviously missing parts of the story."

"I should go check on Anakin and Luke," Obi-Wan put in. "I’ll fill you in later."

"I should head back to the Temple," Dooku said. "Obi-Wan, if the Knighting is going ahead, you know how to tell us. Good luck untangling the Skywalker mess."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan nodded.

"May the Force be with you, Asajj," Dooku said softly.

"And with you, Master Dooku," Asajj replied solemnly. She stood and bowed formally.

Dooku returned the bow and vanished.

"I’ll return with Anakin and Luke," Obi-Wan said curtly, disappearing as well.


	10. Apologies

When Anakin approached Luke, he could see he’d been crying. "Son," he gasped sadly. "I’m so sorry."

Luke said nothing but shook his head.

"I never meant to ruin this day for you, and I’m sure Obi-Wan didn’t, either. I guess…I guess we forgot about you."

"No. It’s not me I’m sad about. It’s that two people I love very much aren’t getting along, and maybe it’s my fault."

"It’s not your fault," Anakin replied decisively.

"But Obi-Wan said-"

"Oh, come on," Anakin groused, "he’s not always right. Mostly, but not always."

"I never meant to come between you two. If I’d known the ceremony would be such a problem, cause stress for Obi-Wan and make him yell at you, I’d never have asked for it."

"Luke, this has nothing to do with you. It’s about Ventress and the fact she got cold feet. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s hers."

"Wait. I don’t think that’s fair. When you mentioned Dooku, who I remember was described as a Sith and her former Master, she got worried. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be all that thrilled to meet the Emperor ever again. Maybe I should have done more to help her." Luke frowned guiltily.

Anakin thought Luke actually had a point. Yes, he was sure now that it had been wrong to mock Ventress for her fear. "No. I should have been more understanding," Anakin sighed. "Obi-Wan’s right to be annoyed with me. If he hurt Padme, I’d be upset with him, too."

"Mother?" Luke asked. "She sounds like a good woman from what Obi-Wan has told me. A Jedi supporter and loved the Republic. She also didn’t like the war."

"All true. Obi-Wan was there for her when she delivered you and Leia. He’s done so much for me and then I go and mistreat his woman. But why’d he have to pick someone I’ve never gotten along with?"

"Maybe because they understand each other. Because they are physically attracted, or were once. Because they bring out the best in each other. I hope one day, I find love like that."

"I’m sure you will, son. 

"I sometimes wonder how Padme has forgiven me so much wrong. In trying to save her, I took her life, you and your sister, the government she served, and the passion that gave her strength. Everyone I love gets hurt. But Obi-Wan doesn’t hurt those he loves."

"But he does. He even said so. The important thing for him seems to be forgiveness, not always being kind. I think you’re trying for an unreasonable goal. Hurting people is inevitable.

"I should have tried to stop you two before it got out of control. I knew it might get that way. I’ve never heard such anger from Obi-Wan before. Not once. Annoyance, sarcasm, the occasional muttered curse - but not anger. I’ve heard it from Uncle Owen, though. It just didn’t occur to me to step in because of my age. It didn’t seem like my place."

"Yeah, we’d probably just have told you to stay out of it."

"So is it true that you don’t want Asajj at my Knighting? And who’s Satine? Maybe I shouldn’t ask about her. I’m assuming she’s some other woman Obi-Wan was dating." 

"No. That’s where Obi-Wan’s wrong. I was prepared to tolerate Ventress’ presence because you both wanted her there. And last night, when you were talking to her about Leia, I thought it’d be good to have her there. Maybe you should ask Obi-Wan about Satine. Normally, I’d tell you, but he’s already mad at me."

Obi-Wan materialized. "Couldn’t help overhearing part of your discussion. Asajj and Dooku seem to have worked things out. 

"To answer your question, Luke, Satine was the Duchess of Mandalore and a former flame. She was conventionally beautiful - blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin, cultured accent, and a pacifist. She disapproved of my lightsaber and my use of aggression to get out of tight spots. I met her as a young man - when I was seventeen or so. Master and I were assigned to protect her from assassination attempts for a year. Though the attraction was mutual, I chose to carry on with my training and didn’t contact her until the Clone Wars, nearly twenty years later. Anakin was with me then and we had to protect her again. 

"However, I’d fought with Asajj before then. She was the only woman who ever flirted so boldly with me, and I found this intriguing and alluring. Seeing that she was trained with the Force and lightsabers, my heart began inclining toward her gradually. I felt somewhat guilty about this, but Satine and I had never made any romantic commitment, so technically, I was not obligated to her in any way. I should also note that when Satine and I met again, it was pretty tense. I was investigating a terrorist organization and she seemed to take this personally. Given Satine’s criticism of me and Asajj’s playful seduction, you can guess which was more appealing. And then, my heart was given over completely to Asajj when she saved my life. It was the fight with Maul and Savage. I’d have died that day on a freighter rather than the Death Star. I came to the realization that Asajj was a better choice not just because she was better company, but because she is capable, intelligent, and accepts and appreciates my skills and personality. Satine was my first love, but Asajj is everything I need - a mostly physical attraction of youth versus the deep and enduring Force bond I cannot be without. 

"Anakin, I knew you didn’t want Asajj at the ceremony. What I didn’t know was that something had happened to change your mind and that you were genuinely willing to facilitate her attendance for me and Luke. I got angry at you because I assumed the worst from you. I didn’t think you capable of any good impulses and that was unfair and wrong. I should have known better, given my history with you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I know that’s why you lashed out at me. At first, you tried to defend yourself, but I wasn’t having it."

"Master," Anakin whispered, his voice full of emotion. The next thing Obi-Wan knew, Anakin had launched himself at him and pulled him into a fierce, loving embrace. Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in surprise as he processed what was happening, but he wrapped an arm around Anakin’s shoulders and finally smiled kindly. "Don’t worry about it, Master," Anakin said against his neck. "It was Ventress. You can hardly be blamed for thinking the worst of me given that history. And it’s true I don’t like to share people. Or at least, I didn’t during the Clone Wars. Hopefully, I’m better about it now." He released Obi-Wan and pulled back slowly. Obi-Wan’s arm lingered around his shoulders for a beat before he let go and stepped away. 

Luke was grinning happily at them. "So you two are okay now? And Dooku and Asajj are comfortable with each other? Can the ceremony go ahead?"

"You still want it?" Obi-Wan was incredulous. 

"Well, yeah. I’ve been working myself up over it. Do you not want to do it now?"

"Um, well…That business with Satine…Used to be that only Qui-Gon and Anakin knew about it. Now…Many others do." 

"Oops," Anakin winced. "Sorry, Master. I’m always causing trouble for you."

"But what’s the big deal? You stayed with the Jedi. And if Asajj is a problem, you still did your duty and fought a Sith and trained me. Okay, so you broke the rules. But Asajj didn’t keep you from fulfilling your own destiny. That has to count for something."

"Hmmm. Maybe you’re right. Asajj understood that a Jedi was who I was. It annoyed her but at the same time, she would not want it any other way. My career was always priority, and Asajj accepted this.

"Very well. Let us collect Asajj and then I’ll call everyone back."

Obi-Wan, Luke, and Anakin found Asajj still seated on her shady ledge. They automatically took the positions they had when they last got together, with Obi-Wan beside Asajj and Luke and Anakin across from them. However, Luke now sat across from Obi-Wan and Anakin faced Ventress.

The former assassin smirked at Anakin. "So I hear there was a fight when Obi-Wan went to get Dooku. I’m kind of sorry I missed it."

"If you’d been there, we wouldn’t have fought," Anakin muttered.

"So now you’re blaming me? It’s not my fault you ruined Luke’s ceremony."

"I ruined it?" queried Anakin indignantly. "It was Obi-Wan who wouldn’t listen to me."

Obi-Wan held up a hand, looking exasperated. "Must you two always go at it? Anakin, we both did wrong. Asajj is blameless and her unwillingness to confront Dooku was perfectly understandable. Come, Luke doesn’t need this again."

Anakin glanced at Luke, at Obi-Wan, and sighed. "I don’t know why Ventress brings out my combative side. But you’re right. Our fight isn’t her fault. Ventress, I guess I owe you an apology for teasing you about Dooku."

"Huh?" Ventress shook her head in confusion. "Must be some sort of joke. Real funny, Skywalker."

"No, I mean it," Anakin growled, annoyed.

"Don’t be ridiculous, Skywalker. You expect me to believe you? Come on. Quit playing games."

"You know what? Fine. I’m not sorry about the way I treated you. I don’t know why I even bothered apologizing." Anakin turned aside and started gliding away. "I’ll be at the cave, Master" was thrown over his shoulder.

"Skywalker," Asajj called. "Wait."

Anakin kept moving, but hadn’t teleported away yet.

"Skywalker. Please?" Asajj tried.

Anakin stopped and turned back toward her. "Yes?" he laughed, eyes mocking.

Asajj got to her feet and stopped in front of him. "You’re offering me a true, honest apology?" 

"That’s what I’ve been saying," Anakin complained.

Luke and Obi-Wan got up and came close to the two former Sith.

"But why? Why do you suddenly think you’ve done wrong?"

"Because I have, Ventress. Given that Dooku was a Sith and your former Master, the fact he abandoned you, the fact he probably tormented you pretty painfully-" Asajj’s jaw tightened here and Anakin nodded, "I should have been more sensitive to all of that and not shamed you for showing reasonable concern about being in the same room with him. When Master came by to talk to Dooku, Luke and I noticed you weren’t with him. I must have shown some kind of fear because Master was on me like that." Anakin snapped his fingers. "In the voice I associate with a verbal whip, he said, 'What have you done this time?' I tried not to be defensive, but I’ve heard the whip crack that way far too often to not remember its meaning, and I said I didn’t mean to. Master said he didn’t want to hear my excuses and demanded to know what happened. I was evasive, which tends to anger him more but I couldn’t help it. Master accused me of not wanting you at the ceremony because Luke was mine and I didn’t want to share him. He said I didn’t like you and he knew it. My fear turned to anger and I yelled that yeah, I don’t like you and that Satine is prettier. Well, it was at that point Master’s simmering annoyance turned into all-out rage. And then Luke ran off and I said the whole thing was Obi-Wan’s fault.

"But Obi-Wan was right about me, or at least, the former me. And I certainly can’t blame him for getting upset with me for mocking you about something that’s really not funny. If Obi-Wan treated Padme the way I treated you, I’d want to throttle him. 

"So I guess I’m apologizing to both of you. I know we’re not friends and all, but I really do want you at Luke’s ceremony. You gave Luke and me hope, even if it’s slim, that Leia will forgive me one day for the destruction of Alderaan and killing her adoptive parents. I wanted to settle the score."

"You know, Skywalker, I never actually thought you owed me an apology for that. What happened concerning Dooku is nothing unusual. If anything, I expected it from you. You do owe me an apology for the time you Force choked me and accused me of terrorism against the Temple, though."

"Hey, didn’t you expect that from me, too?" Anakin teased.

"On some level, yes, but you wrongly accused me and Force choking is never a good thing. You were acting like a Sith before you became one."

Luke looked confused. "What? Force choking and terrorism?"

"It’s a long story," Obi-Wan murmured. "The short version is that there was a Jedi apprentice who arranged for a bomb to go off in a Jedi Temple hangar, killing Jedi and civilian employees. Asajj was suspected since she was a known enemy of the Jedi, but the Padawan in question confessed and was dragged off to prison. Anakin hunted Asajj and Force choked her rather than interrogate her in a civilized manner. That is what Asajj is referring to."

Anakin looked at Asajj thoughtfully. Obi-Wan had wrongly accused him just now, and yeah, that did warrant an apology. But Force choking being wrong? But Anakin’s conscience whispered that just because it was normal to him after years of being a Sith didn’t mean it was right. To be Force choked was painful, terrifying, and there were more merciful ways to kill someone. Anakin nodded and met Asajj’s eyes. "You’re right. I was wrong to accuse you without any evidence linking you to the crime. Force choking is use of the Dark Side and that was wrong from a Jedi standpoint and an ethical one. I’m sorry for both actions."

Asajj nodded. "Thank you, Skywalker. Maybe you’re not who you were."

Luke was bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently. Obi-Wan chuckled. "Well, if that’s settled, let’s be on our way." The group made it to the cave without further delay.


	11. A Ceremony and A Squabble

After ensuring things were still set up properly in the cave, Obi-Wan called to the Jedi using the Force. They were back immediately, moving to their original places as though nothing unusual had happened. Obi-Wan was inwardly grateful for Jedi formality. Some in the crowd were curious about the mention of Satine, but everyone knew now was not the time to ask awkward questions. Obi-Wan noted Padme, Shmi, and Beru among the spectators. Padme already knew Satine, Beru was trying to puzzle it out, and Shmi felt it wasn’t her business. Obi-Wan wanted to talk to Beru about it, but with Luke watching, he couldn’t. He resolved to give Anakin permission to tell her later.

Stepping into the circle he’d drawn in the middle of the cave, he motioned Luke next to him imperiously. Luke obliged with alacrity. The hum of conversation ceased immediately.

Luke could sense many presences in the Force but could only see six individuals: Obi-Wan, Yoda, Anakin, Asajj, and two Jedi he didn’t yet know. He wondered why he could sense a crowd but could not see them. 

Obi-Wan followed Luke’s eyes and noted he could not see the audience. An explanation seemed to be needed. "Luke, can you sense the Jedi here? All of them? This place is pretty full."

Luke nodded. "I can feel many sentients, but the signatures are unfamiliar. I can’t seem to see or hear them. But I see five of you just fine, although you are ghosts. Why can’t I see everyone?"

"In order for a signature to appear to someone still in the flesh, they must have undergone very special training. This training is not granted to just anyone. It must be earned by Trials and even being offered the opportunity to take the Trials is rare. The offer is extended for a specific purpose - to preserve the Light. Are you following so far?"

"Yes," Luke responded meekly.

"The Force willed that the ghosts you see should become bearers and guardians of love and wisdom. We’ve lived difficult lives and have been deemed worthy of this responsibility. We ghosts can of course see everyone. And I should add that it would seem only Force-sensitives have the opportunity to be trained because the call to undertake the Trials is through the Force. I hope this is intelligible."

"I think I understand," Luke nodded.

"Then I should introduce Master Qui-Gon and Master Dooku." The Jedi in question broke away from the other ghosts and came forward. Luke bowed to each of them and they bowed back. Asajj nodded stiffly to Qui-Gon. She already knew everyone else. He returned the greeting more smoothly, his expression somewhat confused. Obi-Wan shook his head slightly at Asajj, frowning a little as well, but made no comment.

"Luke, this is not a conventional ceremony, but hopefully, its spirit can be recreated adequately. Just follow my instructions and we’ll see how this goes."

Luke nodded nervously.

"Firstly, you should remove your shoes. You don’t have to, but I’d recommend it." Luke sat on the ground and took them off. As he was getting up, Obi-Wan gave his next command. "Stand in the middle of the circle on the ground. The exact center, if possible."

Luke did so.

"Good. Asajj, can you help me and participate in this? Be a part of this Circle?"

"I’m not sure what to do," Asajj answered worriedly.

"Just follow us," Dooku commanded.

"All right. I’ll do my best."

"We’re sure. You always do," Obi-Wan smiled encouragingly. "Now, then. Enter the circle and form a hexagon around the circumference. Try to space yourselves evenly. Face inward and angle toward Luke. Master, to my right, please." Qui-Gon placed himself as requested. "Asajj, to my left." She followed Qui-Gon’s example. "Anakin, next to Master." He obeyed. "Master Dooku, next to Asajj, please." It was done. Yoda took the remaining spot. Obi-Wan stood facing Luke and Yoda was behind him on the other side of the circle.

"Luke, these in your Circle have either helped you on your path to Knighthood or have seen the results. Now we will serve as witnesses to your Knighthood vows. Kneel and answer 'I do' to the following questions."

Luke knelt at Obi-Wan’s feet, looking up expectantly and soberly. Obi-Wan nodded approvingly. "Do you promise to serve the Order to the best of your ability? TO uphold our ideals and honor your training?"

"I do," Luke smiled. That was easy to agree to.

"Do you promise to continue to grow in knowledge, skill, and maturity? Keep in mind I am not expecting success all the time. Simply that you seek to be the best person you can be."

Luke grinned. "I do." Luke thought he wasn’t being asked for anything he didn’t already do.

"Lastly, do you promise to revere the Force and use it to help others and for ethical purposes?"

"I do." Luke nodded, his expression serious.

"Do the Circle participants attest to the validity of these promises? Do they represent that they have borne witness to their completion?"

"I do," Qui-Gon murmured.

"I do," Anakin said proudly. 

This was repeated around the circle, with the exception of Obi-Wan. 

Suddenly, a blue beam of light, much like his lightsaber but without a hilt, appeared in Obi-Wan’s right hand. Similar lights appeared in the hands of the other ghosts to match the lightsaber colors they had in life. Dooku and Anakin wielded blue rather than red. Asajj understood what was required and activated her lightsaber. Obi-Wan extended his blade so it hovered over Luke’s head. The tip of Qui-Gon’s green blade touched the tip of Obi-Wan’s blue. All the participants followed suit so that all the blades converged at that point. Then, the ghosts’ blades vanished, except for Obi-Wan again. Asajj deactivated her lightsaber and put it away.

"The vows have been sealed and are binding unless you leave the Order. By the authority granted to me by your Circle and the Force, I confer on you the rank of Jedi Knight." Obi-Wan’s blade swept in a fluid arc from just over Luke’s left shoulder, over his head, and over his right shoulder. "Rise, Knight Skywalker, and welcome to the Jedi Order."

Luke got to his feet shakily. Asajj reached out to steady him, grabbing his elbow. His whole body trembled. He was overwhelmed. "Master," he whispered reverently, staring at Obi-Wan, whose blade was now gone.

Obi-Wan smiled warmly and said hoarsely, "You’ve done well, young one. We’re all unspeakably proud." 

Luke began to cry and hid behind his hands. Asajj looked uncertainly in Luke’s direction, but at Obi-Wan’s approving nod, she pulled Luke into an embrace and he buried his head against her shoulder.

"He gets it from both his parents, I’m afraid," Obi-Wan teased gently.

Luke was trying to laugh and cry at the same time on hearing that.

"Congratulations, young Knight," Asajj crooned soothingly.

"Thank you," Luke managed, as his tears began to subside. "I’m sorry. I…I don’t know why I’m this way."

"If I were to guess, I’d bet on extreme happiness," Qui-Gon said dryly. There was a touch of sarcasm to his tone, but somehow, it did not come across as mean-spirited.

Luke laughed and carefully extricated himself from Asajj’s arms. "Obi-Wan. Master Yoda. I couldn’t have done this without both of you. I’ll never forget your lessons on hope and faith and how to guard against the Dark Side."

"Said I could not teach you, I did. But glad I listened to Obi-Wan, I am. A good judge of character, he has always been. A pleasure it was to train you. A good apprentice you were; a great Jedi you are."

Luke blushed and bowed low, too overcome to speak.

"It seems Master Yoda has left me with no compliments for you. In that case, I would offer gratitude instead." Luke opened his mouth to protest, but Obi-Wan held up a hand. "At first, much like Master Yoda, I wasn’t sure you’d turn out well. But I watched you grow and saw more of who you were than Yoda had. Over time, we developed good rapport, a strong bond, and, dare I say, an attachment. You and Anakin both gave me a reason to live when I wanted to just lie down and die. Both of you provided laughter and comfort when times were bleak. And you singlehandedly fixed my mistakes and soothed my regrets when you brought Anakin back from the Dark Side. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of Knighting you. The honor should have been Master Yoda’s by tradition and even by training, since he taught you most of what you know of our arts."

"Master," Luke whispered, "I couldn’t have it any other way. It had to be you. I’m sorry, Master Yoda. The ceremony would have been meaningful if you’d done it, but Obi-Wan was teacher and confidant, you see?"

"Understand, I do," Yoda rasped. "Care for me and respect me, you do. Feel it, I can. But special, Obi-Wan is, because grew up with him, you did. Worry not, my friend." Yoda’s ears pricked up and he smiled sincerely. Luke grinned back, reassured.

Padme, Shmi, and Beru were content and happy. "So this is a Knighting ceremony," Padme mused. "I wasn’t allowed at Anakin’s. I’ve wondered what it was like but Ani would never give details, on pain of Obi-Wan’s wrath." 

Shmi chuckled. "It’s a good thing he is not that way often. In fact, I think only Ani really incites it."

"Anakin’s the only person I remember Obi-Wan yelling at," Padme affirmed.

"I liked the formality of the ceremony," Beru put in. "Obi-Wan always took his job seriously and it looks like the Jedi surrounding Luke did as well. Obi-Wan was the only Jedi I had extended contact with, but if all were like him, then the galaxy needs them."

"Unfortunately, they weren’t," Padme sighed regretfully. "But many politicians weren’t like the Delegation of Two Thousand, who were against the Empire. But I know everyone around Luke. Qui-Gon paid the ultimate price for me and for Naboo, Master Yoda was shrewd and brave, and though Dooku and Anakin turned to evil, there was obviously still good in both of them. Never thought Asajj Ventress would become a Jedi. She used to be a Separatist and close to Dooku. But if she likes Luke, I’ll have to meet her one day."

The women carried on watching Luke’s interactions.

Anakin was somber. "You’ve done so much better than me, Luke. I’m sure your grandmother, mother, and aunt are pleased"

Luke looked at Anakin neutrally. "I’m sure Aunt Beru would be okay with this career choice. She always wanted my happiness. Uncle Owen would hate it, but you can’t really fight the will of the Force, eh? It’s nice to know you think mom and grandma would approve."

The crowd began to disperse until only the ceremony participants were left. Luke used the time to put his shoes back on.

Dooku approached Luke. "Welcome to the Order, Knight Luke. I wish you the greatest success in your ambitions and missions. I would request and advise that you keep the new Order out of politics and shady deals. It is a huge mistake the old Order made. I look forward to getting better acquainted with you in the future. I must be off. May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master Dooku. It is nice to meet you, and I’ll keep your advice in mind. Thank you for the kind wishes." The Knights bowed to each other and Dooku vanished.

Qui-Gon took the spot vacated by Dooku and smiled. "Dooku trained me, you know. And Master Yoda trained Dooku. With Obi-Wan as my Padawan and you and Anakin as his, we are a proud lineage. Anakin was foretold to bring balance to the Force. His love for Padme was a good thing; his attachment to her was not." Qui-Gon turned serious. "My advice to you would be to analyze your motives. Always ask yourself if the things you do come from love or self-gratification. The difference is not always as clear-cut as it would seem. 

"I took Anakin from the life he knew for the sake of a prophecy and the salvation of our Order. I reasoned that I was doing it for the good of the galaxy. But really, I only wanted him for his abilities. No, it was not necessarily for my own personal glory, but he was seen as a means to an end more than an individual.

"This was a failing of the Jedi Order as a whole. We forgot the meaning of love and cool intellect took over. Of course, logic is very important and love is not always practical, but it is my opinion that empathy and compassion should take precedence.

"And one more thing. If you no longer wish to be a Jedi, if your heart is no longer in it, you should feel free to take a break or choose another path. At that point, the service you do is no longer from love. It is a hard road and many do not have the strength required."

Luke bowed to Qui-Gon formally. "I don’t think I could leave the Jedi. Master Obi-Wan and Master Yoda invested far too much in me. But I can see needing a break once in a while. In fact, that’s why I’m here. Needed to get away from the chaos that the government’s in. I’m glad I have permission to do that. I like helping others and do care a lot about those who suffer or are disadvantaged, but if it stops being like that, I’ll know I can relax and recharge."

Asajj spoke up. "I think, Master Jinn, you owe Obi-Wan an apology." She met Qui-GOn’s eyes in challenge. "Forcing him to train a boy he didn’t like instead of comforting the apprentice who served you faithfully for so many years. You should be ashamed that a boy you just said you didn’t even love was more important than Kenobi."

Qui-GOn’s eyes narrowed. He mused that Dooku would have remained totally calm and probably come up with some clever quip, but he was not born with that gift. He considered that Yoda could also remain calm, but then, Yoda was very old. No, he was like Obi-Wan and the Skywalkers, tempestuous and ferocious, especially when discussing things he cared deeply about. "Ventress," Qui-Gon said coldly, "I cared for Anakin. I just didn’t love him as much as I should have. As for Obi-Wan, how dare you tell me I did not love him!" That last sentence was spoken with ominous softness.

Obi-Wan did not quite cringe, but he definitely looked anxious. He had unpleasant memories of that tone from his apprenticeship days. He reached a hand toward Asajj and mouthed the word "No," but she was too caught up in righteous anger to notice his urgency.

"Because he would have mattered to you more than a stupid prophecy that destroyed your Order and allowed the Sith to rule. How could you think Anakin had the strength necessary to walk your road? You didn’t appreciate Obi-Wan properly. He deserved a better Master."

"Asajj," Obi-Wan whispered in horror, as he felt her rage and Qui-GOn’s grief simultaneously over the Force bonds he shared with them. 

Luke glanced at Anakin and motioned outside frantically. Anakin nodded and Yoda and the Skywalkers left quickly and quietly.

Qui-Gon sighed regretfully. "Obi-Wan did deserve better. I’m not arguing there. With Anakin, I thought he could overcome the conceptions he already had about the galaxy and learn to think like us. If he was the Chosen One, then surely he wouldn’t fall to the Dark Side. Little did I know that’s precisely what his title meant. He was chosen to bring about the change the galaxy needed.

"I didn’t have it in me to believe Anakin was born evil. Yes, I felt his fear and did have an inkling that he inclined toward the Dark Side, but I thought Obi-Wan could show Anakin what honor and love are. I reasoned that Anakin was young and could be Dark or Light. With Obi-Wan as a teacher, I figured Anakin’s odds for Light were better."

Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan and took his hand, looking into his eyes. "Padawan, Asajj is correct. I do owe you an apology for making you train Anakin. I knew you would do a good job. But I should have chosen to act out of love rather than obligation. I’ve always loved you very much. I knew you’d be stronger and wiser than me. But Asajj is right that I took your diligence and devotion for granted. Obi-Wan, you were my redemption as Luke was yours. That is the best I can say."

Obi-Wan blinked rapidly and shook his head. "Master, I know all this. Not the part about taking me for granted. But everything else. Why did you need to tell me when all you’ve done has shown me? If you took my service for granted, it was also given willingly and completely. 

"From a certain point of view, I see where Asajj is coming from. If you’d died and left me with nothing but the command to train Anakin and then faded into the Force, never to be heard from again, that’d be terrible for me. If everything happened as it had and I was alone on Tatooine, especially in the beginning, I may not have lived to guard Luke. Or Asajj might still have come and rescued me again. I don’t know.

"But that’s not how things went. For one thing, you knew of your training, that you had the means to speak to me after death. For another, you did not leave me only with a command. As your life ebbed away and my heart broke, you saw my anguish and stroked my cheek gently. There wasn’t time to say all you wanted, but how does a Jedi keep from falling into despair? He finds work to do. If you had chosen to say goodbye or to say you loved me or how you were sorry you were going to miss my Knighting-" Obi-Wan’s voice broke and he looked away and wiped at his eyes with his free hand before turning back to Qui-Gon. "That’s all it would have done. I’d have been shattered. I still cried, of course. But while I never was quite as joyful as my apprenticeship days, I did carry on and learned to enjoy life again.

"Besides, would you have even been in the situation you were if not to defend me? You just told me the day before that I’d be a great Jedi. It kind of makes sense that you wouldn’t be willing to allow my future to be cut short if you had anything to say about it. Since you’d fought him before, you already knew how fierce Maul was. You don’t need to tell me you love me. It’s in all you do and say."

"Padawan…" Qui-Gon whispered, hugging Obi-Wan tightly. Obi-Wan smiled brightly and returned the hug just as firmly. "I am sorry I missed your Knighting. You did a fine job with Luke’s."

Master and apprentice released each other. "Thank you. I think I covered the important parts. And you did witness my Knighting. I just wasn’t aware of you."

"Master Qui-Gon," Asajj put in softly, "seeing you two together, I realize I was wrong about you. You’re a good man whose mistake was to overestimate. But it’s like Obi-Wan said. To expect too much and to expect too little are both bad, but if I had to choose, I’d rather have a teacher who expected victory and thought I would be something. At least, that way, I’d have a chance at achieving greatness. 

"Now it’s me who owes you an apology. I accused you without fully understanding who you were and what the situation was. All I saw was that you had made Obi-Wan do something he didn’t want, and I kept thinking I’d never do that to him. It looked like manipulation and painting him into a corner where he had no choice. I saw no love in your dealings with him. Please forgive my hasty hostility. I misspoke."

Qui-Gon smiled gently and shrugged. "Believe me, Asajj, I know all about speaking hastily and regretting my words. Many Council disagreements would attest to that. I’ve put my poor Padawan through a lot of awkwardness with my impassioned opinions." Obi-Wan shuddered. "He always felt caught in the middle, loyal to me and the Council. Fortunately, though he had to witness some of our quarrels, he was not called on to specifically take a side. Usually. Except for Anakin’s training. You can guess whose side he was on.

"You may have spoken rashly, but you did so to defend Obi-Wan. He is fortunate to have someone who is always on his side, willing to stand up to all challengers. You acted out of love, as everyone should. Don’t worry about it."

Asajj chuckled. "I like him, Obi-Wan. He’s not a pushover, and that’s good."

"I’m glad," Obi-Wan said happily. "And no, he most certainly isn’t. The very idea’s absurd."

"Where did Master Yoda and the Skywalkers go?" Asajj wondered.

"I believe they’re at Obi-Wan’s old place," Qui-Gon nodded. "The Skywalkers, anyway. Yoda’s probably at the Temple."

"Okay. I’ll meet you two there. Unless one of you can bring my bag of credits over. Wanted to give Luke a Knighting gift."

Obi-Wan remembered the bag by the entrance to her cave. So that’s what it was for. He didn’t think it was an appropriate gift, but he also knew Asajj knew this. He decided to trust her intention. She’d never let him down before. "I’m on it," Obi-Wan replied. "You just head over."

"Padawan, I’ll see you later. Asajj, I’m glad we’ve worked things out. May the Force be with you both." 

"And with you, Master," Obi-Wan and Asajj said together.


	12. An End and A Beginning

When Asajj arrived at Obi-Wan’s old home, she found him and the Skywalkers waiting inside. Her bag of credits was next to Luke, who was standing with his back to a wall.. 

Obi-Wan lifted a hand in greeting. "The other Masters asked me to tell you they thought you’d do well as a Jedi and if you ever wanted to join us, they’d vouch for you."

Asajj looked away awkwardly. Addressing Obi-Wan again, she frowned in concern. "You know me. I like my freedom. I have a hard enough time as it is representing you well. I’m sure I’d ruin all of Luke’s hard work reestablishing the Jedi’s good reputation. However, I am honored by what they say. Since we started seriously committing to each other, I’ve renounced the Dark Side. I’m more comfortable being a Jedi supporter and friend than an official one. To that end," she addressed Luke, "I’d like you to have those credits." She motioned to the bag beside him. "Consider it a donation of sorts. If the Jedi are going to be independent and not wrapped up in bribes and politics, then it has to rely on the generosity of others as well as generating its own resources. I’m happy to help in that regard. I’m sure Obi-Wan and the others can help with internal affairs. If you’re concerned about where the credits came from, they’re totally legal and not so-called dirty money. I don’t do that sort of thing. I’m not unscrupulous. Also, I do not expect any stake in the Order. The Order is not obligated to me in any way. All I ask is that the credits only be used for Jedi requirements. I think I can trust you to be honest about that and not give money away to friends or use it for your own gain."

Luke smiled gratefully. "Of course, ma’am. That’s perfectly reasonable and I can promise you to only use this to rebuild the Temple or to help others in a Jedi capacity. Not help as in, 'Let’s have a party. Drinks are on me.' You know what I mean." He chuckled happily.

Asajj laughed and Obi-Wan grinned. "Usually, in such a case, it was the politicians or other wealthy people we guarded who did that sort of thing and treated us. It was not the Jedi who wined and dined them."

"Thank you for your kind gift," Luke smiled warmly. "It’s a fine way to begin my official Knighthood."

"It does double as a Knighting present," Asajj murmured. "Why not buy yourself some chocolate?" She winked.

"I thought I wasn’t supposed to use this for personal gain," Luke grinned. "I already asked Leia to get me some. But maybe I’ll use some of the credits to get a nice, hot meal. That’s not against the rules, is it?" He winked back.

"Absolutely not. Spending for survival does not count as personal gain. I hope you enjoy your next meal or two. Obi-Wan once said he didn’t care much about money beyond ensuring he had essentials. And maybe communication to the outside world. I found out later he was a secret Rebel. That crafty sneak." She smiled fondly at him. "His career might always have been more important than me, but at least I can say his priorities were right. A lot of men prioritize some other selfish pleasure over their partners. Not him."

"Crafty? What about darling Asajj, covertly helping the Rebels when she was able to do so relatively anonymously. We were always on the same side after the Clone Wars, quietly. In the time of the Empire, it was best for everyone involved to know as little as possible about the activities of allies. Or so my thinking went. In case of capture and torture." Luke flinched. Anakin lowered his head in shame. "Asajj is a very special woman. Not many have the strength, endurance, and courage to love a Jedi, especially one as accident-prone as I was." 

Asajj smiled, and then sighed melodramatically. "The things I did for love."

Anakin looked from Obi-Wan to Asajj and back again. "It’s pretty enlightening seeing you two interact. Padme and I were wrapped up in each other. We both chose each other as more important than those around us. Our love was true, though, and I see that with you. It’s not just some shallow flirtation, like I always thought. I can see what you see in her, old man. Lot of the same things I see in Padme. Passionate, independent, not afraid to fight for you and her beliefs, and a need so strong she’d die without you. The fact Asajj and I understand what it means to be a slave, to be property, as well as the power and temptation of the Dark Side is a plus. You and Padme have things in common, too, like being faithful public servants and caring a lot about principles and protocol. But there’s one thing I want to ask you, Master. If the Order had not been destroyed and you loved Asajj as much as you do now, would you have stayed or chosen her?"

"First of all," Obi-Wan commented, "I’m glad she’s Asajj now. Does this mean she can call you Anakin?"

"Of course." Addressing Asajj, he continued. "Unless you’d rather I keep calling you Ventress."

Asajj shrugged. "Asajj. Ventress. May as well make it interchangeable. Better than being insulted."

Obi-Wan continued. "Would I have left the Order for her? I’m not sure. It would have been a difficult and terrible choice. I’d have loved her and you, Anakin. How could I choose? I got great fulfillment from being a Jedi and always cared a lot about helping people. I wouldn’t want to not do that anymore. But I wouldn’t have been totally happy without Asajj. Nothing would have replaced her and to give her up would have meant living with a void I could never fill. Either way, I’d have regretted something for the rest of my life. 

"Knowing who I was, I’d probably have stayed with the Order, but it would likely have become pure duty with no real heart. Mass murder was still an unacceptable solution to your problem, Anakin," Obi-Wan muttered, "just to be clear. But I do have more of a sense of your dilemma now that I think about it. I expected you to choose the Order and do what was better for others. But after having spent so much of my life with Asajj, I understand why you could not. It was not pure selfishness that made it impossible for you to do as I wished. You wanted to please me, I think, but you needed me and Padme to overcome the Dark Side, and because of the war and our duties, you had neither. Palpatine isolated and trapped you, and the baser parts of your nature just took over. Same thing happened with Asajj when she lost her Jedi Master. She had no one to turn to for help or comfort. She was alone and isolated in an uncaring and wild galaxy. So she fell. 

"Luke and I were in very different situations. Every time we faced great loss and trauma, there were people to help us. I had my Jedi friends and training you two. Luke had his Rebel friends and training with Yoda. So please don’t think I’m insinuating any superiority. All things considered, I’m happy with how things turned out for me. I hope Luke will be able to say the same when he joins the Force."

"As for me," Asajj said, "if Obi-Wan was my destiny and I had to suffer to earn him, it was worth it."

"Darling," Obi-Wan gasped. "That’s…I’m touched."

"I’ve always told you the truth, my dear. For good or ill."

There was an uneasy silence as Luke and Anakin glanced at each other and then toward the door. Luke started inching toward it, but Obi-Wan and Asajj noticed him. "Um, sorry you two," Obi-Wan said awkwardly, "I guess we got carried away."

Luke stopped and laughed good-naturedly. "No problem. I think I’m going to be leaving here to head back to Coruscant. Obi-Wan, Leia asked me to tell you she is sorry she never got to meet you. She says Bail Organa spoke well of you. She also wishes to thank you for your sacrifice for the Alliance. I offered to teach her to sense you, but she thinks she has too much anger right now to be trusted with the knowledge of the Force. She can still feel it and talk to me through it, but I’m an exception 'cause we’re family. I said I agreed with her reservations. Just thought I’d pass along her message."

"Leia’s a good and wise woman. I’m sure Padme is very proud of her," Obi-Wan smiled. "You can tell her I said that. Has Solo’s attitude changed about the Force?"

"Yeah," Luke laughed. "I did save him from being eaten by Ewoks using it. I should hope he respects it more now. But he still prefers blasters to lightsabers. Not me. This thing is special." He ignited his blade and looked at it proudly before replacing it back on his belt.

"As Obi-Wan told me when I built my first one, the lightsaber is your life," Anakin nodded firmly.

"What do you know? Anakin actually does listen to me," Obi-Wan quipped.

"I always did, Master," Anakin said sadly. "I just didn’t know how to take good advice."

"Never mind, Padawan," Obi-Wan said gently. "I forgive you."

Anakin grinned and squeezed Obi-Wan’s hand in a show of solidarity. 

Luke broadcast joy and contentment through the Force as he picked up Asajj’s credits and headed for his X-Wing. Anakin stayed beside him while Obi-Wan and Asajj walked behind them. At the ship, Luke turned around to face his Jedi friends. As far as Luke was concerned, Asajj was an honorary one. "I know this isn’t goodbye. You three will always be with me. And I won’t forget the wisdom of our forbears, Master Yoda, Master Dooku, and Master Qui-Gon. I expect to see them, too, sometimes. I need all of you to make the Order the best it can be, to help me balance logic and love. Thanks for making this visit so memorable and inspiring. Until next time, may the Force be with all of you."

"The Force will be with you. Always," said Obi-Wan solemnly.

"May the Force be with you, son," was Anakin’s proud sendoff.

"Stay on guard and stay safe, young Knight," Asajj rasped. "And congratulations again."

The group exchanged Jedi bows and civilian waves as though they couldn’t decide which to use before Luke took off in a cloud of dust. The last thing Luke saw were his friends watching his departure, Asajj between the Knights, as she leaned close to Obi-Wan and held out her free hand toward Anakin. In the Force, bonds of apprenticeship, romance, family and friendship intwined together like a braided cord. It was destined.


End file.
